So this is fun. If you’ve recently (or not so recently) misplaced your hymen, accidentally damaged it, given it a bit of a tear – then boy, oh, boy, have we got the product for you.
This fabulous Artificial Hymen Repair Kit can give you back that little scrap of membrane that you miss so dearly. And no, we’re not joking because you can’t make up stuff this perverse.
In short, this is a delicate sachet of fake blood that you insert into your vagina like a diaphragm and then it ah, dissolves or ‘tears’ during intercourse. Fun!
The Hong Kong producers of this little gem of a product, promise on their website (HymenShop.com – yes, really!) to “restore your virginity in five minutes with this new technologically advanced product. Kiss your deep dark secret goodbye and marry in confidence.”
The Hymen Repair Kit, which you can pick up for a STEAL at just $3.70 Australian, comes in a range of colours including the feisty ‘Joan of Arc Red’ (pictured) and other options such as ‘Dusty Outback Ochre’, ‘Aeroplane Jelly Raspberry’ and ‘Lady Macbeth Crimson.’ (Ok, we made those colours up but you get the gist).
Journalist, Leah Beckman thought she had better try the kit out and see for herself just how it worked. She wrote about the (hilarious) experience for for NY Magazine: