[Welcome to a Mamamia Best-Of holiday post where I get to take a little break while keeping you entertained with some of the most popular posts from days gone by]
Perhaps in the past, yes, but these days
I’m clean. Very occasionally, I relapse but not so much now that I’m
taking my medication regularly and attending the meetings.
So, US fashion journal Women’s Wear Daily surveyed salespeople in
department stores and up-market boutiques who identified the different
types of high-maintenance customers. Extreme Shoppers often mean
extreme commissions but they also mean extremely hard work for the poor
buggers who have to serve them.
1. MISS LONELY HEARTS
“Well-practiced at pouring her heart out to a salesperson on a regular basis.”
The great thing about someone who works in a shop? They can’t run away
when you launch into the latest tedious instalment of your
on-again-off-again relationship with the Bastard Who Won’t Commit. Two
words: captive audience. Four more: cruel and unusual punishment.
At the higher end, this type of extreme shopper will want to discuss
her mega-bucks divorce settlement and will take her lawyer’s calls in
the middle of the store before hanging up and giving the sales
assistant – and everyone else in earshot – a full debrief.
2. THE PSYCHO SHOPPER
“Prone to tantrums and just plain bizarre behaviour.”
Like the woman who asks a department store staffer snap naked photos of her in the dressing room. Or the shopper who displays ‘register rage’, loudly abusing the sales assistant when her credit card is rejected or she’s refused a discount. May also indignantly announce “Don’t you know who I am?” even when clearly, no one cares.
3. THE ADDICT
“Shops non-stop and isn’t exactly sure why.”
For this extreme shopper, the cash register is her poker machine. She shops when she’s happy, sad, angry or bored. She buys bikinis in winter, cashmere when it’s 34 degrees (hey, she’s already bought every swimsuit in the store) and gumboots during a drought. Just because.
4. LITTLE MS INDECISIVE
“Tries on clothes as a form of exercise, is a big fan of putting merchandise on hold for days before actually buying and often in a chronic returner.”
Also known as a Gemini or a Libra.