So, you had a baby. Well done. Nothing will be the same again.
Sick of hearing that? Yes, well, the truth has a nasty habit of sticking around.
But the truth of that phrase is that life will change in millions of tiny ways, some terrifying, some wonderful and all profound. You will learn an enormous amount. About yourself, about babies, and about how to keep a small person alive while watching The Bachelor on your phone. See, profound.
If that sounds like you, Mamamia has a new podcast.
It’s called Year One, and it’s about the very first year of a child’s life.
It’s presented by me, Holly Wainwright, who has lived through Year One twice and now has a little distance to relive it, and Christie Hayes, who has two kids under three and is so nuts she got pregnant when her first baby was only six weeks old…
We have also called in a team of experts (thank God) to tell us how we should really be doing things. A midwife, a children’s doc, a sleep whisperer, a solids chef, a psyche, a physio… Basically everyone we wish we had on speed dial during our own Year Ones.
We think you're going to love it, and not just because it inspired this list. The list we like to call:
Lessons from Year One
- You know nothing.
- You know nothing.
- You know NOTHING. It doesn't matter how many books you read while you were stroking your bump and getting your significant other to rub your feet for nine months straight, once that baby comes home with you, you are starting from zero. And so are they. The words 'steep learning curve' were invented specifically to describe the first six weeks of parenthood. It's like that ramp thing in Ninja Warrior. Except, you know, harder.
Listen to Holly Wainwright and Christie Hayes talk to a woman who's seen more than 10,000 mothers take 10,000 babies home on the brand new podcast, Year One.
4.You feel everything. All the time.
Emotional barely covers it. You've never loved your partner so much. They've never irritated you more. You've never been so exhausted. You've never been so bored. You've never felt safer, more loved. You've never felt more vulnerable and alone. The way that baby's finger curls make you cry. The way that baby giggles makes you cry. The way the radio and TV keep telling you how dangerous the world is makes you scared. The fact that this sleepless night is going to roll into a sleepless day and then another sleepless night makes you despair. Let's just say it: There's a lot going on.
5. You become suddenly extremely interested in poo.
When and how often and what colour it is. What's bound to happen when it disappears for a few days (they call it a 'number 3'). How much time you seem to spend cleaning it up. You're like David Attenborough, sifting through stools for clues. And what's worse, you're always talking about it.
6. You never understood this obsession with sleep. Until you did.