Dear Holly,
How do I get my teenage daughter to listen to her instincts?
Case in point #1: She has told me someone at school is making her feel uncomfortable. She's a girl in the "friend group" who my daughter is quite convinced is actually talking about her behind her back and trying to undermine her to other friends. My daughter says the girl makes her "feel funny", but she has no proof, the girl denies it, and my daughter doesn't want to make trouble or be rude.
Case in point #2: My daughter gets the bus to school and has sometimes said she feels a bit unsafe if men she doesn't know sit near her but she doesn't want to make a fuss by moving to the front to be close to the driver.
In both these instances, I've told her that her gut is trying to tell her something important, and she should listen. She says, "what if my gut is just being a drama queen"!
Help!
Flat Mum.
***
Dear Flat Mum,
Teenagers are terrifying. They really are. You never know what you're going to get with them. One day, sweetness and light, cuddles and hair-stroking. The next, thunder and lightening, scowls and grunts. A slammed door. Eyes down.
With such varied internal weather, no wonder it's hard for them, sometimes, to trust anything they're feeling. They might be feeling differently tomorrow.
But, Flat Mum, I feel you. It feels like the stakes are so high its dizzying, and I've been talking to my teen about trust, so this is a perfect question. We've been doing a "job" together, and it's been a glorious excuse for me to trap her in a car and talk about things I want her to hear. She might roll her eyes, she might get lost in her lip gloss, but I know, somewhere, it's going in.
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