rogue

People seem to think Taylor Swift is being shuffled around New York City in a giant suitcase.

Excuse me while I quickly go and put on my “serious journalism hat”…because there’s a new Taylor Swift conspiracy theory and it’s very important that we get to the bottom of it.

Shall we begin?

It’s no secret that Swift has been missing in action this year.

For one, she’s almost completely disappeared from social media, only posting three times since February—and all three were promotions for best friends and fellow musicians.

She’s also rarely been seen out and about in New York City, despite the fact she lives in a Tribeca penthouse in the middle of Manhattan.

Where are you, Taylor?

So imagine our surprise when a paparazzo claimed to know exactly where Swift was hiding...

In a giant suitcase, of course.

A photo of the singer's security team carefully placing a large, black suitcase in the back of a car outside her apartment has gone viral.

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"Taylor Swift being transported in a huge suitcase from her Tribeca apartment into her truck, in the trunk," the caption reads.

Because obviously if a celebrity goes on a social media detox and then a HUGE suitcase is carried out of their apartment then they are clearly in there.

But first, a quick question: HOW COULD SHE EVEN FIT IN THERE? Her legs are very, very long and a suitcase is very, very squishy.

Taylor suitcase

Perhaps she's been using the suitcase to visit the magical otherworld where all her cats actually live, à la Newt Scamander in Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them.

Or maybe she's channeling her inner Lady Gaga being carried into the 2011 Grammys in an egg and is going to bust out of the suitcase any day now with a brand new album full of banging hits.

As ridiculous as this all sounds, there is a small part of me that so desperately wants the "Taylor Swift lives in a suitcase" story to be true.

Screw this paparazzi-deflecting scarf—that's kid stuff. Hiding out in a suitcase and being carried around by hired help is now officially be the best way to avoid being photographed in public.

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It seems I'm not alone in my thinking:

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It's also not the first time this theory has spread like wildfire across the Internet: In May fans started a rumour that the singer had started sneaking in and out of her home in a box.

Unfortunately for us all, it seems this latest Swift-spiracy may just be too good to be true, with Spin reporting that the photo site has actually edited the caption in question.

"I literally just put the phone down from someone on Taylor’s camp," a representative from photo agency Splash told the site.

"We're having to actually retract that."

Either that, or Swift is FURIOUS her SUPER TOP SECRET hiding place has been uncovered.

We wouldn't be surprised if she made the call from the suitcase instead.

Wait, does she get reception in there?

LISTEN: Taylor Swift had the best response to sexual harassment and it gives us hope.

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