Remember that time Sylvia Jeffreys and Pete Stefanovic got married and Instagram descended into a frenzy and a paparazzo drove his cute lil’ Holden hatchback into a dam?
Ah, such fond memories.
Well, because we haven’t quite had enough coverage of the Australian media’s answer to Kate and Wills, I found myself thinking today, ‘Where on God’s green earth did Sylvia and Pete celebrate their honeymoon?’
Fear not, reader friends! I have found (googled) the destination where the TODAY show personalities basked in marital bliss.
(It’s this kind of investigative journalism that compels me to make-out with my university degree late at night.)
Ahem. Let me introduce you to the Kokomo Private Island in Fiji.
Did you read that?
A prrrrriiiiivate island. A PRIVATE ISLAND.
The business' Instagram boasts that it is "most exclusive private island resort" in the country, but I would argue that all private islands are, you know, "exclusive" by the very fact they're bloody private islands.
If anybody knows of an inclusive private island where anyone with a spare 20 buckaroos can go, hit me up at [email protected] We can all jet on over and clink our gold-flaked martini glasses and survive on a diet of truffle oil and Himalayan table salt because ~inclusivity~.
This is where Sylvia and Pete spent their first few days as a married couple.
The rooms have private (read: very exclusive) infinity pools.
And big-ass boat-themed table decorations. Because LUXURY, BABY!
And hunky bicep-y dudes that may or may not come in black and white.
(I've reached out to ask if said dudes come as complimentary inclusions with the room - like pillow mints - but I'm yet to hear back. Fingers crossed!!!!)
The cheapest rooms at Kokomo Island cost $2710 a night, while the fanciest villa will set couples back $24,453 for a one-night stay.
In other news, I'm sitting here munching on office-provided toast because the thought of spending $6.50 on a toastie from downstairs was too much for my bank account to bear.
LISTEN: Vogue has announced the wedding trends that are over for 2017.