"I need my emu." Sydney toddler invents frankly ridiculous reasons for not going to sleep.

Rachel, 39, and David, 34, thought they had it “all figured out” after they paid for a sleep consultant and had a few months of easy nights.

The Sydney couple, who have a two-year-old son named Charlie, got so much downtime they found themselves watching a Netflix series – just like many child-free Australian couples.

Two-year-old Charlie. Image supplied.

Last year, their toddler started sleeping through the night and the pair could hardly believe they were able to go to bed and wake up the following day.

“For a few months I was showing up to work early and I had energy,” said David.

“I felt like I was getting my life back,” he added.

Rachel says she felt so confident that she had nailed Charlie’s sleep routine that she went “off-piste” from her sleep consultant’s advice.

That’s when the couple’s two-year-old son, Charlie, started planning a night coup. The Sydneysiders say the regime change was swift.

“I am the boss,” the little boy is often heard saying.

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An extra book before bed has now grown into an all-evening hijacking, the couple say.. The two parents haven’t watched anything but ABC Kids in months.


“I just want an hour to be able to watch The Kardashians,” says Rachel.

“Charlie just fights bedtime for hours. We have to wait until he relents,” says David.

David, Charlie and Rachel. Image supplied.

Rachel can often be seen making several attempts to crawl out of her son’s bedroom –only to be followed by a small boy who chuckles at her attempts to escape.

The pair, who are in their 30s, have most evenings held at ransom with the following demands:

  1. I did a poo. I need to do a poo.

  2. I need a drink of bubble water.

  3. One more minute, Mummy.

  4. My finger is ouchy. I need a Band-Aid like Coco.

  5. I need a kiss and a cuddle.

  6. Another kiss. Another cuddle. (Other cheek, other side)

  7. There are green spiders.

  8. I have a sore tummy. Here.

  9. Go away Mummy!

  10. Stay here Mummy – sit there (on the floor).

  11. I’m scared.

  12. I did a wee. I need a wee in the potty.

  13. I'm hot.

  14. I'm freezing.

  15. I need my blanket.

  16. I need my car.

  17. I need my emu.

  18. I not going to sleep. I don’t like it.

  19. You’re not the boss. I’m the boss.

These parents are not alone, it is thought many toddlers around the country are taking over evening downtime.

Parents are being pushed to their absolute limit of bedtime stories and are left wondering where their evenings have gone.