There are two little girls and a boy in Sydney, who I wish I could hold tonight.
I wish I could rock them and murmur words of comfort to them.
I wish I could wipe away the events of the last few days.
I wish I could instead fill their heads with innocent questions of what Santa will bring and what they are doing on their holidays.
I wish I could dry their tears and whisper fierce mantras to them that it will all be okay because mum will be home soon.
And I wish I could be speaking the truth.
I want to erase the pain of these three small children of barrister Katrina Dawson, who was killed during the Sydney siege over night.
But I can’t. And that makes me angry and above all desperately, desperately sad.
I know I am not alone.
I know that all of Australia took a sharp intake of breath when they heard that one of the victims of the Sydney siege was a mother-of-three.
Over the past day, Australia stood on a knife edge for 17 hours waiting, wondering what the fate of the hostages inside the Lindt Café would be.
Many of us did not sleep, even those far removed followed the terrible events via the media praying for a peaceful resolution. While we were filled with fear and terror for an unknown number of victims that most of us did not know, the families of 17 people were in a living hell.
When, just before 2.30am, the NSW Police tweeted that the Sydney siege was over, the families of 15 people breathed a sigh of relief.
For the families of two hostages though, the anguish was only just beginning.
A sea of flowers laid out at Martin Place today. Image via William West/Getty.
Manager of the Lindt Store in Martin Place, Tori Johnson is being hailed as a hero today and rightly so. Reports are emerging that he was killed trying to knock the gun out of the aggressor’s hands; he was killed trying to ensure his customers and staff were safe.
And while of course we grieve for all those touched by these events, as a mother of three children myself I feel a special jaggered edge of pain for Katrina Dawson’s family. Three children who will grow up without their mum.
Facts are still emerging but it has been reported that the talented 38-year-old barrister, widely praised as being one of Sydney’s best and brightest, was killed trying to protect a pregnant friend.