Australian Survivor is back on our screens this Sunday, in what I can only assume is it’s 317th season worldwide. We all know the drill by now. Tribes, challenges,
boobs and abs strength and strategy.
But in Australia? It’s only season three, and it just keeps getting better.
This year’s hook?
‘You’ve never met a Survivor like this’.
Damn straight. Channel 10 have scoured the country to find us the most fascinating and bizarre Aussies to maroon in Samoa, all in the name of bloody good TV.
This week on The Binge, Laura Brodnik and Monique Bowley are salivating over the line-up of contestants.
From a meter-maid to a magician, whoever was in charge of casting, you truly have a gift.
Here are some of our favourites from the 2016 Australian Survivor batch that we cannot wait to see in action:
HOT DAD LEE
Ah yes, Lee. Our obligatory eye-candy. He's got kids... and ummm abs... OK next.
Watch: Australian Survivor Promo... Post continues below.
Thank you so much for bringing us Sue, the retired customs officer turned intelligence analyst who works in covert surveillance. I don't even know what this means, but I know I want to see more of Sue. Is she going to spy on the other contestants to analyse how smart they are, then form alliances accordingly? Because that's a pretty smart plan. And SHE'S NOT YOUR MUM OR YOUR NANNA. Do you hear?
GOOD GUY SAM
Who else is swooning over top bloke Sam who just wants to make friends? Bless him. I mean, he probably won't go far, but he genuinely wants to find love... Hang on. This isn't The Bachelor! He runs a charity, and did we mention he's a really good guy? He's probably just playing the game and trying to fly under the radar, but you know what? I don't care.
Seriously, where the hell do you find a criminal cartel prosecutor who looks like a Bond girl in a bikini? Phoebe is whip smart and knows that flirting will help her win. And if her admirers underestimate her? You better believe she's going to exploit that. Yas queen!
It's official, the casting team for Survivor know what the people want. Magic
Mike Matt! He's a magician AND a mentalist. I can't wait to see him use his powers to find a hamburger. Or conjure a tent. Or hypnotise the others not to vote him out. Geez, this guy has got it in the bag.
It's gonna be a good season. Bring. It. On.
Subscribe to The Binge in iTunes or listen to the latest episode, UnREAL, Survivor & The Get Down below.