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Hero, Shocker and Whinger of the Week

 
Welcome to Hero, Shocker and Whinger of the Week!

Spring has sprung, and to celebrate the season of flowers, birds and bees, and the recommencement of leg shaving, our theme for this week’s Hero, Shocker and Whinger of the Week is…

Love.

Let’s get this love boat on the… sea.

Hero of the Week goes to…

Tindafella, the bloke recreating the profile pictures of girls he meets on Tinder.

All images via Tindafella on Tumblr.

Shocker of the Week goes to…

The guy who jerked off into his co-worker’s coffee. Seriously.

Via CBS:

On Aug. 28, Lind agreed to meet with police at the New Brighton Public Safety Center, the complaint states. While talking with officers, he admitted to ejaculating on his co-worker’s desk and coffee on Aug. 26, which was his birthday. He then went on to admit that he’d ejaculated in her coffee twice in the last six months, and on her desk four times, wiping up the mess with the scrunchy.

With her scrunchie? WITH HER SCRUNCHIE?!

But, it’s okay, you guys: it was his birthday. And, if you can’t sexually harass a co-worker on your birthday, when can you, right?

No. Wrong.

Whinger of the Week goes to…

The wedding invite companies that are refusing to put the full names of female guests on invites.

Washington Post columnist Catherine Rampell just wanted the women invited to her celebration of eternal love to have their own, full, names on her wedding invitations. Unfortunately, when she sent her mum to get the invitations printed, this stationery company put that in the too hard basket:

When my mother instructed a stationery vendor to begin our wedding invitation with “[Mother’s name] and [Father’s name] request the pleasure of your company . . . ,” the stationer was aghast. In all her years of crafting wedding invitations, she squawked, not once had she veered into such utterly tacky territory. My mother called me in a panic, convinced that my requested wording would subvert the proper order of the universe.

And then? Things got worse.

She sent the calligrapher an Excel spreadsheet with all our invitees’ names and told her to transcribe them exactly as we had them or else suffer the wrath of Bridezilla. The calligrapher agreed.

But guess what form of address was on the envelopes that my married friends received? “Mr. and Mrs. Robert Smith.” Even, in at least one case, where the wife had kept her maiden name.

Listen, calligraphers. We pay you the money, you write what we say.

Ugh.

Who was your Hero, Shocker and Whinger of the week?

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