For most couples who see children as an important and inevitable part of their future, they assume that when they’re ready, pregnancy will come swiftly and easily. But for some couples, this isn’t the case.
Sometimes, getting pregnant isn’t simple, and neither is the trajectory that follows. It’s painful, hard, uncertain, and cruel. It’s a roller coaster of hope and hopelessness, filled with emotionally exhausting experiences involving hormone injections, periods that come when they’re not wanted, come late, or don’t come at all, and devastating news like, “I’m so sorry. I can’t find the heartbeat.”
In a Facebook post shared just over a week ago, a man named Dan Majesky has opened up about the raw heartbreak of trying, and failing, to conceive.
Dan and his wife Leah have been trying to conceive for over three years. They’re in their late 30s, and have been through more fertility treatments, negative pregnancy tests, and ups and downs than most people can possibly imagine.
Dan and Leah. Image via Facebook.
But with Dan's post receiving over 55,000 likes, hundreds of comments, and thousands of shares, it's clear that the story of Dan and Leah isn't just their story - it resonates with people all over the world who desperately want to be parents.
"Like all our plans, we didn’t start with a plan, but instead decided that if we got pregnant, that would be great," Dan begins. "And then we didn’t get pregnant."
"We started using apps and calendars to track this and that. Ovulation test sticks. Old wives’ tales of positions and timing," he continues. "But we didn’t get pregnant."
Dan takes us through doctors visits and hormones and intrauterine insemination. He writes, "Do doctors ever tell anybody, 'This is what is wrong, and this is how to fix it,' and then give them pills, and they’re fine? This is not my experience. My experience is: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯."
For Leah, taking hormone boosters to facilitate egg production took a toll on her mood. "Her job was to feel like her brain and soul were on fire," writes Dan. "My job was to try and not say anything dumb."
He recalls giving his "needle-phobic wife a shot in her thigh to set ovulation in process" - the struggle of which caused him to develop "a method where she would look away, close her eyes and cry, while crushing all the bones in my left hand, and I would count to three, and inject her with my right."