“Isn’t she pretty?” “What lovely eyes!” “How alert she is!” “She’s so friendly and happy”
There are the kinds of compliments any mother would love to hear about their baby. Unless you are the mother of twins. And these compliments are directed at only one of your babies.
Since having my fraternal twin girls 8 months ago, it has amused, astounded and on occasion highly annoyed me when friends, family and strangers have thrown around these comments, praising one of my girls and ignoring the other.
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I have fraternal 12 year old twin boys. Not once in my life have I referred to them as "the twins" and I very quickly pull up any family member that does. it's just lazy.
For the most part I forget they are twins. Mostly they're brothers who shared a womb at the same time.
As for people commenting, that stopped long ago. These days they look so dissimilar - height, weight and hair colour, most people just assume they're just very close in age.
Yep. 19 minutes close.
How about be happy that people are taking a positive interest in your children. So sick and tired of the "don't say this, don't say that" articles. people might as well just not talk to each other.
I've seen so many articles on what "not to say", it's getting very tiring. I remember one not too long ago about "what not to say to a woman who has lost a baby". Well, I'm one of those women now. I found out 4 weeks ago that my baby died in my body and waited until late last week to miscarry (surgically, because it hadn't happened naturally, or medically induced). I've had a myriad of emotions about losing my bub and you know what? I had all those statements that were included on the "what not to say", but through my grief I didn't get mad or angry and you know why? Because each and every one of those statement (although some were harder to take than others), they all came from a good place, they came from family and close friends who were grieving too. Who were sad and disappointed for me. Who loved me and supported me. People trying to let me know that they were thinking of me, that they were staying positive for the future, encouraging me that I will hold a baby in my arms in the future. Life goes on, it doesn't stop for anyone. I think we need to go back to the days when we assumed people were kind and well-meaning, instead of focusing on the negative side of things all the time.
I'm sorry to read about your loss, but I'm really glad to see you're seeing the best in people. I agree 100% with your post. We are too quick to be offended, even when people are trying their very best in a tough, tough situation.