My dear friends and country(wo)men.
You know how you’re always talking about how society is going down the toilet?
Well, you’re right. Australia as we know it is falling to pieces. The values we once held dear are gone. That whole “fair go” schtick was retired in 2005. We can’t trust anyone as far as we can throw a koala.
The problem is you.
Yep, you. The one who puts your avocados through the self-checkout as brown onions and conveniently “forgets” to scan your coconut water before chucking it in your shopping bag.
You're the destructive force ripping our faith in other people to shreds. Because if you steal from self-checkouts at the supermarket, you are tearing the very fabric of this society apart.
I know what you're going to say. You've got lots of really good reasons why you think it's cool to blatantly rip businesses off.
Well, here's what I'm going to say: you're a psychopath.
And I'll tell you why:
1. Psychopaths have grandiose ideas of their own entitlement.
Now, I know what you're thinking. Supermarkets are money-eating monsters. They don't deserve all that profit! THE PEOPLE deserve that profit! You're taking an exciting stand against THE MAN by scanning your expensive nuts as cheaper nuts!!!
Except you are not.
THE PEOPLE who deserve that profit are the ones who work at supermarkets and supply produce to supermarkets. You know. The ones who did work. The ones whose livelihoods depend on it.
Repeat after me: I do not deserve to rip off a large corporation just because I am feeling a tad strapped for cash.
Also repeat after me: I am a psychopath.
David Gillespie is an EXPERT in psychopaths. If you're convinced you might be one (or know someone else who you have tipped for psychopathy), listen to his interview with Mia Freedman. Post continues after audio.