No, working mothers do not have a monopoly on mummy-guilt. That’s a joy to be shared by all mums.
There is a little known frontier of Mummy-guilt that isn’t talked about.
We’re familiar with the lot of a working mother – endless newspaper articles, mummy forums, Facebook posts and book after book have pounded and prodded these poor working Mums – often judged for leaving their families to work.
But the lesser-discussed guilt is that of the mother at home.
What’s she got to feel guilty about? You ask.
After all surely being at home you are there for your kids – you are the ultimate mother that society holds above all others – nurturing, guiding, caring. Society LOVES you, right?
Wrong.
Read more: 25 ways you know you’re a stay-at-home mum.
A close friend alerted me to this just the other day, she said that now all her children were at school she was amazed at the expectation that she too would be getting out of the house.
“You won’t know yourself next year” people kept telling her. “Oh, how life will change.”
“How come people can’t just accept that I want to stay at home?” she asked me. “Where has this expectation come from?”
I did my on-the-ground research and found a lot of parents who felt the same. Not working outside the home does NOT preclude you from mother shame and guilt. Which is a little depressing.
Top Comments
I have 2 kids, one at school and one 15 month old. I'd like to go to work a few days a week but it would be stupid for me to. My husband is a skilled worker and I am not. Because of his wage we are only entitled to get 50% childcare rebate (because day care in Australia is so damn expensive!), so when I take into consideration tax, fuel, stocking up on work clothes, parking fees... I'll end my week on a pittance. All in exchange for a house I could have had sorted, time to cook healthy meals, quality time with my kids, researched discounts and the time to shop around. When we were both working we spent our money on so much crap. I like to consider every dollar I save my household as if it were an income because we wouldn't have had it if it were wasted right? Saved $100 on shopping, yes! Found $50 off a new washing machine with delivery, winning! Wanted take away dinner, made pasta instead, $30.. thank you! If my family were struggling I would work but I don't have to, so I'm not going to feel guilty for not.
I would add something to point 4 as well, because choosing NOT to send your child to day care can cause a bit of guilt too. Because childcare isn't just babysitting anymore, it's all very educational, and it's education your child might miss out on if you don't send them, especially since childcare workers are there all day to educate your child while you have household chores to do.