Star Wars explained for people who JUST DON'T GET IT.

You might have heard that there’s a new Star Wars movie out next week. Don’t care? Here’s why you should.

So, you’ve never seen Star Wars.

That’s cool, I mean, you’ve probably been out living your life. Frolicking in the sunshine, reading books by Russian authors whose names end in ‘stoy’ and keeping your tax receipts in alphabetical order. You haven’t got time to watch movies about people waving coloured sticks at each other in space, right?


The Star Wars franchise has had unprecedented cultural influence, the film’s quotes and phrases have become deeply embedded within our everyday lexicon while the saga also managed to forever Hollywood films, paving the way for high quality, adventure-laden blockbusters.

You see how it is? You don’t just watch Star Wars, you LIVE  the Star Wars.

In a 2001 census, more than 390,000 UK respondents entered their religion as ‘Jedi’ (a practice that is also prevalent in Australia and never stops being funny) and the movies still have the power to draw record numbers to the cinema when replayed on the big screen. Even President Barack Obama is a fan, once quipping in a debate that people expect him to do a “Jedi mind meld”.

If the most powerful man in the world is on-board, you probably should be too.

I mean, just try to watch the trailer for the soon-to-be-released Star WarsThe Force Awakens and NOT have goosebumps erupt across your flesh. Go on, I’ll wait.

Video via Star Wars

Hold me.

Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens will soon hit cinemas and the ripple effect will be felt across the world. The film picks up the story 30 years after the original saga and if you know the back story, you’re in for an epic treat.

Ok, so the first thing you need to know about Star Wars is that it happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

The first trilogy comprises Star WarsThe Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. The original saga was followed by a prequel trilogy comprising Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones and Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. In order to get the correct experience, watch the trilogy series first before you jump into the prequels.

The original trilogy follows Luke Skywalker, a young farm boy living on the desert planet Tatooine who is able to wield “the force”. He is drawn into a battle between the Empire and Rebel Alliance, an organized resistance formed to combat Emperor Palpatine. Luke is trained by legendary Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi and, with the assistance of smuggler Han Solo, aids Princess Leia in taking down the Empire.

It may seem like a classic Good VS Evil stoush, but there is so much more to Hollywood’s most enduring franchise.


Here’s why you should call in sick to life and surrender to the magic that is Star Wars. 

1. The character development is off the charts.

The original saga may follow farm boy Luke on his journey to becoming one of the greatest Jedi the galaxy has ever known, but the Star Wars story his not his alone.

You also have Han Solo, the roughish and reckless smuggler who becomes entangled with the rebellion in the hopes of clearing his debt, and then becomes a hero. Yoda, a Grand Master of the Jedi Order whose intelligence and wisdom is a driving force throughout both the original saga and prequel series. Droides R2-D2 and C-3P0, who were among the first robotic creations to be seen as actual characters rather than plot devices.

2. The script is peppered with iconic one-liners.

Even if you’ve never seen the films, you can’t escape these lines.

“I am your father” and “The force is strong with this one.”

They feature funny quips such as “Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing” and “I’m rather embarrassed, General Solo, but it appears that you are to be the main course at a banquet in my honor.”

Then there’s the spine tingling “Fear is the path to the dark side” and “Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force.”

3.The plot twists are stomach churning.

By now, you’ve probably decided to devote your foreseeable future to watching Star Wars and tattooing  various parts of your body with Lucas penned lines. So I won’t spoil anything for you, but let’s just say the films have more twists and turns than a Westfield.

That heroic guy and girl who seem to be making ‘love me’ eyes at each other across a crowded spaceship? Yeah, they’re brother and sister. That evil villain whose downfall you’re waiting to cheer for? Well, he’s got enough emotional baggage to fill Taylor Swift’s next few albums. So how about you back the hell of?


Expect the unexpected.

4. Princess Leia is a kickass heroine.

Princess Leia Organa is the sole female character in a sprawling male cast, but boy, does she make her presence felt.

Leia is an intriguing mixture of physical strength and astounding mental prowess. She’s more than a love interest, more than a princess and so much more than a gold bikini. She’s a formidable force in the political arena and is not afraid to drop a stinging one-liner, even in the face of death.

Leia paved the way for future heroines on our screens today. Do yourself a favour and watch her scenes on repeat.

Leia Organa, more than a princess.

5. The score will give your goosebumps goosebumps.

Many movies have tried, and failed, to conquer the heights of the Star Wars score. Lucas opted to go with a romantic tone when creating the soundtrack, allowing the audience to explore a new universe with familiarity. Before this, many science fiction films such as 2001: A Space Odyssey had opted for a more classical approach. The score for Star Wars is more akin to an adventure film.

5. Han Solo

I’ll just leave this here…

Most of all Star Wars is fun. It’s adventure, it’s escapism, it’s a love story. It’s a reminder of the power of heroes.

So, I’m sorry, what are you still doing here? Go fourth and watch Star Wars.

And may the Force be with you.