Disclaimer: this is a tongue-in-cheek article.
With Sophie Monk’s quest for eternal love set to kick off later this week, the nation has now learned the occupations and ages of her suitors, and when it comes to the latter people are not happy.
Yes, the men appearing on The Bachelorette are younger than her damn it, and for so many reasons that is simply not okay.
For starters, the fact that the 37-year-old celebrity has eight men in their 20s and 10 men in their 30s vying for her love and affection suggests that clearly, she's a cougar.
Similar to the way every person to have ever competed in the reality series appears to like 'em caucasian, Monk appears to like 'em young. Now, I know, I know, we all say it's perfectly fine for men to date younger women without being deemed sleazy and immature so really, this rule should apply to older women dating younger men, but it just doesn't. Because women have things like faces that age.
I mean, can you imagine seeing the face of a visibly older woman with a younger man? It would be like seeing Elsa Pataky and Chris Hemsworth together, ugh! Hideous. No, we cannot have that being Australia's next great love story, thank you.
Older women also have biological clocks that tick and tock up until the very moment their first baby exits the vaginal canal and finally brings meaning and purpose into their lives. Men, however, don't have said clocks. So naturally, pairing a younger man with a woman who, at this stage of her life, is probably partially deaf from the booming of said tick tock just makes for a disaster.
It would be like seeing another Megan Gale and Shaun Hampson, who despite their 13-year age gap, are about to welcome their second child together. Sure, they seem incredibly happy but it's hardly ideal, is it?
Listen: In case you missed it, here's everything you need to know about Sophie Monk's new reality television gig. Post continues...