Welcome, reader friends.

It’s finally that time of day where you get to put your feet up. To relax. And to enjoy the craziest and most delicious celebrity news the world has dished up in the last 24 hours.

Because we deserve it, god dammit.

1. For 19 years Sophie Cachia thought her middle name was Jane. Then she went to the post office

Those who were speedy enough to click on media personality Sophie Cachia’s Instagram Live Story last night were treated to quite the tale.

A post shared by Sophie Cachia (@sophiecachia_) on Aug 28, 2017 at 9:39pm PDT

You see, for 19 years of her life, the writer and social media influencer thought her name was Sophie Jane. That is, until she went to the post office to get a passport and she found out quite a curious fact: Jane wasn’t her middle name.

You know, AT ALL.

Upon confronting her mum about this very important name debacle, Sophie learned her parents forgot to put her middle name on the birth certificate.

While the blogger always felt she’d give her baby daughter, Florence, the middle name ‘Jane’ she explained to her 230,000 followers that she felt she couldn’t, because it was never really her own.

2. Stand down: J-Law’s dress took the cake at her new movie’s premiere

Sometimes the red carpet is full of beautiful dresses with no clear standout. Other times Jennifer Lawrence walks down and everyone falls over each other because SHE’S COVERED IN GLORIOUS BEADED WEBBING AND HOW IS THAT A THING.

She looks like… a really glamorous and cool spider, actually.

The 27-year-old actress turned every head possible at the UK premiere of her new film Mother! at London’s Odeon Leicester Square in a dripping silver, lace-style, metal, nude dress.

Alas, no matter how many times we scream at you in caps lock, no descriptions will do this dress justice. So below is a gallery of pictures for you to look at instead:

3. The Bachelor’s Elora isn’t exactly thrilled she got booted from the show. Shocker

Rumour had it that Elora Murger was going to get the boot off The Bachelor by keeper of the roses Matty J, and those rumours were true dammit.

Last night’s Bachelor elimination saw Matty J cancel the cocktail party and head straight to the rose ceremony. Because, you know, he obviously has other places to be with that tres busy TV schedule.

And what would a Bachelor elimination be without some drama? Yep, Elora has “lashed out” (cough “spoken about” cough) over Matty not giving her a chance to explain that completely awkward failed kiss from last week.

Speaking to Popsugar, Elora said, “I thought it was completely outrageous to not hear me out.”

A post shared by E L O R A ????T A H I T I (@eloratahiti) on Aug 31, 2017 at 5:22pm PDT

“It made it seem like I got sent home because of the last cocktail party — the kiss — and even though he said it had nothing to do with it, it wasn’t good.”

Don’t worry Elora, plenty’o’fish in that sea, right?

4. This video of Britney Spears will definitely give you vertigo and maybe compel you to join yoga classes

If you were looking for motivation to join a yoga class, right this way…

Behold: Britney Spears.

In the singer’s latest Instagram video, captioned, “Life is actually better upside down,” Britney has shown her 17.4 million followers that having a couple of kids will not stop her from twisting and contorting her body in ways that make our spines ache.

We think we’ve pulled a muscle just by watching this.

You can see her full video, right here:

Life is actually better upside down ????????????????????????????????????????

A post shared by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on Sep 6, 2017 at 4:08pm PDT

5. Richard Branson is currently hiding in a wine cellar with 12 of his employees

Note to self: If a hurricane approaches at rapid speeds, definitely stash yourself and 12 of your favourite employees in your extravagant wine cellar.

Oh, crap, sorry: That’s just a memo for the billionaires reading this, like Richard Branson.

Yep, Branson is refusing to leave the the British Virgin Islands as the 297-km winds of Hurricane Irma approaches. He has decided instead to seek shelter in his wine cellar along with a group of employees from the Virgin Group.

Experienced a night of howling wind and rain as #hurricaneirma edges closer. Expecting full force in about 4 hours, we’ll retreat into a concrete wine cellar under the house. Wonderful team calm and upbeat.

A post shared by Richard Branson (@richardbranson) on Sep 6, 2017 at 6:08am PDT

This isn’t the first time Branson has been caught up in a hurricane on his island in the Caribbean, in fact it’s his third time over the last the 30 years.

And in case you needed any updates, Branson has got you covered with his Instagram and Twitter. As you do in the midst of a hurricane.

Can’t get enough celeb news? Want some more? Right this way…

• Why we’re only just learning about Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx’s relationship.
• Literally just 37 thoughts I had while looking at Kim Kardashian naked in a tree.
• While the world obsessed over Pink’s VMAs speech, her daughter felt very differently.