Britni and her daughter. (Image supplied.)
I’m not sure when it happened exactly, but I’ve become everything I swore I’d never be. Maybe it was the day that I decided I wanted to get sober.
I always thought that people who didn’t drink were boring. Squares. No fun. I swore I would never be one of Those People. I was Different. I knew how to have fun.
Until I didn’t anymore. Until it stopped being sustainable, or even beneficial. Until I had no choice in the matter. It’s funny, because I think I’m actually way more fun now that I’m sober. I’m definitely less judgmental. As a bonus, I’m also now a functioning member of society.
I didn’t think I wanted to be someone who went to work and paid their bills and watched Netflix on a Saturday night, but apparently that’s exactly what I wanted to be.
If you had told me three and a half years ago that I would be someone who opened my mail, tried my hardest to be a good person, and went to something called “baby and me yoga’, I would have been horrified. And yet, here I am.
Or maybe it was the day that I chose to participate in the patriarchal institution that we call "marriage".
I always knew that I didn't want to get married. All of my reasons were "good" ones, too. I couldn't bear the thought of being someone's wife. I didn't want to participate in an institution that viewed women as property. I didn't want to be tied to one person for the rest of my life.
But I had also always been an inherently dishonest person who cheated on everyone I was ever with and needed new people all of the time to give me validation and make me feel good about myself.
I didn't believe in monogamy, but I was also incapable of having an honest open relationship. I didn't understand that I could make my marriage and my wedding fit with my feminist values. I didn't realize that I could find a partner who shared those values with me.
And now I may be someone's wife, but I'm no one's "ball and chain" and I'm definitely not a "Mrs". I'm a partner. (Post continues after gallery.)
It could also have been the day that I decided I wanted to become a mother.
I'm not going to lie, when my husband and I started trying to get pregnant (or actually, tried that one time and succeeded), I felt like I had failed as a feminist. And I know lots of feminists who have kids and so that sounds really silly, but my feminism had always been about choosing to remain childless.