There are plenty of things that p**s me off: sexism, racism, ageism… basically any ism. But there is one recurring issue that, despite its stupidity and absence of logic, makes my blood boil: single shaming.
I was reading an article over lunch the other day about Yumi Stynes commenting on Sophie Monk as the choice as the new Bachelorette.
She said: “You have to believe that they could be single for some reason. If they were so unreal, you’d go, ‘Why isn’t she with someone?’
“You have to be able to see that she’s a little too crazy, and that’s why she’s the Bachelorette.”
Now, after a sojourn to coupledom, I am a proud single woman again (hear me roar!) and reading this comment made me lose my appetite. Jokes, I finished my quarter pounder meal and had a Snickers.
Top Comments
I think that when she's talking about someone seeming "too crazy", she's referring to people who can't seem to have functional long term relationships - not just people who happen to be single in their 30s.
I would apply that to both men and women. If I meet a guy in his late 30s whose never had a proper gf, you better believe alarm bells are ringing! Why can't you connect with someone? Or if you did feel a connection with someone, why was it impossible for that to convert to a functional relationship? Relationships are not that complicated!
I know lots of women who wound up single in their 30s after long term relationships broke down. I also have some craycray friends who have never had a proper relationship because of the aforementioned craycray (even though they are hot and have hearts of gold).
As someone who is in their 30's and never been in a relationship i can answer your question. There is nothing wrong with me, I've just had a lot of bad luck. There have been people I've connected with but for some reason there always seem to be something to screw it up. An age gap (his issue, not mine) was one, another guy was from overseas.
I don't know what your experience has been but men rarely ask me out and I feel some women out there really take it for granted how easy they have it. I've tried online dating, making the first move and volunteering. I'm not unattractive, I have a good personality, am bubbly and out going and yet men just don't seem interested in me.
As mentioned in the podcast a lot of people who are in relationships are not doing anything special, they just get lucky. In the right place at the right time.
And I have several friends who are not even slightly crazy, and haven't had long term relationships. Maybe some of us just prefer to be on our own.
Love your answer about your experiences, Mel. Thank you.
I'm nearly 57 (the age both my parents died) and I'm happily planning my single retirement, in my new little unit, with all my books, so I can read in peace.