Maybe you’re not in the mood. Maybe you’re wanting too much sex. Maybe you, or your partner, wants to try something different. You might not be reaching orgasm. You might be masturbating more, and having sex with your partner less.
When sex within a couple isn’t working (or maybe it’s not happening at all) feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction are likely to arise. This is compounded by the fact that talking about it is tough. There’s the ‘shame’ or embarrassment that comes with having the discussion. One of you gets defensive, one of you gets accusatory, both of you are left feeling frustrated (in every sense) and asking yourselves what went wrong?
Maybe you’ve always had problems. Maybe your relationship went from eye-watering, ‘never-had-sex-like-this-before’, feels at the start of the relationship, to this stark, disheartening contrast.
Either way. Sex therapy is a thing. And it’s designed to help. Here are the signs it might be time to consult a professional.
(If you’re worried about having that discussion with your partner, skip to number 8 and you’ll see sex therapy can be made to sound exciting. Even fun.)
Mamamia have a podcast dedicated to everything sex and relationships. Listen to the latest episode below. (Post continues after audio.)
Changes in libido.
When sex drive drops or falls in one partner, the other partner is left behind. Often at a complete loss of what to do with the rejection / persistence of the other partner.
A sudden and flooring loss in libido (which is different to ‘not being in the mood’) will see you not having any desire to have sex with your partner (or anyone) for an extended period of time. If you’re feeling like this, it could be down to underlying personal, medical or lifestyle issues. Maybe you’re in a constant state of stress. Maybe you’re not happy within the relationship. Your hormones, or your contraceptive pill, could also be to blame. Just know, a complete and sustained lack of interest in sex is not necessarily ‘normal’. And there are ways a sex therapist can help reverse this.