9 brutal but clear signs that your 'friend with benefits' will never be something more.

How annoying is it when you’re keen on some guy, only to spend the majority of your day wondering whether he feels the same way about you.

Girl, I feel ya.

We’ve all been there I promise. So to help a gal out, I’ve devised an easy list of signs to look out for in order to successfully gauge his interest (or lack thereof) for you…

1. He only contacts you late at night with a ‘sup’ text

Surely you know by now that this is a major sign for a booty call boy and he’s only interested in your poonani, not that great personality that comes with it!?

2. He won’t add you on Facebook, or any type of social media

MAJOR RED FLAG. This is a key sign he’s not into you as he knows he’s going to want to cease banging at some point and leave you with no form of stalking contact. We live in a world where we’re following our barista on Instagram, so if the dude who is putting his parts in your parts can’t chuck you an add… well, you know what to do.

LISTEN: Can you have a drink with a male friend when you are in a relationship? We discuss on Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues after. 

3. Your texting ratio isn’t exactly even

If you’re texting him a few times before he responds you need to put your phone down ASAP and walk away. Unless he’s an exception to the rule and just happens to be terrible with technology, he’s just not that into you. Otherwise, he’d be texting you back.

4. He has a ‘no sleepover’ rule

Sorry, but if you go to some dude’s house bonking till the wee hours, one would assume you could safely pass out without being passive-aggressively poked awake: ‘Um babe, you fell asleep and you know, um I have to get up early for the gym…’ If he doesn’t want to make space for you in his bed, he certainly isn’t looking to make space for you in his life.


TIP: Boys are gross. Don’t go to their place in the first place. Make them come to you.

5. He not-so-subtly mentions you left something at his place

Reason 514 you shouldn’t go to his place, he’ll message you about an errant sock or hair elastic you accidentally leave. Heaven forbid there’s a sign of a lass at his place!

6. You never hang out in daylight and/or public

If all your time together involves bonking or watching Netflix in a dark room, you probably need to re-think how much value he places on your time. You deserve to be taken for brunch and a nice walk in the sunshine. (With a bit of hand-holding, if that’s your jam.)

Image: Warner Bros.

7. He refuses to talk about feelings

Most dudes hate talking about feelings - hell, I do too. But sometimes you have to have a chat to suss out where you’re both at. Without it, you could still be in the ‘no sleepover’ stage without realising.

8. You’re in a 'secret' relationship

If you’re sleeping together and haven’t met anyone in his life (or vice versa) for an extended period of time, you probably need to abort mission as he obviously can’t see this bonk-fest going anywhere.

9. He is VERY protective of his phone

If he’s often secretly typing away on his phone and faces it down while in your presence, he’s probably not just being polite. A more likely reason is that he has a few other... sex partners... on-the-go who he’s equally not super into.

So to any of my precious gal pals who have read this and realised they’re bonking/dating/chasing someone displaying these behaviours. You a) need to get rid of him as he’s just not that into you; and b) go and find someone who realises just how bloody amazing you are, because you deserve a chap who IS into you.

This piece originally appeared on Showpo and has been republished here with full permission.