Editor’s Note: Out of respect to the Jolie-Pitts, we have referred to the eight-year-old using gender-neutral “they” pronouns, as have many other publications.
When I was four, I decided I didn’t want to be me any more. I wanted to be a dashing hero named Prince Max. Prince Max was handsome, and kind, and smart, and he stuck around for a good two years, much to the amusement of my sisters and the tired acceptance of my parents.
If they called me by my birth name — Lola — I would correct them, refasten my little blanket-cape around my neck, and storm off with my toy dog (also called Prince Max, because originality is hard when you’re 4) in tow.
Lola.In 2008, actor Brad Pritt recounted having a similar experience with one of his children. His eight-year-old, Shiloh, prefers to be known as John. If Pitt called his child ‘Shi’, he would be corrected with an “I’m John!”.
Read more: Shiloh isn’t called Shiloh any more. And Brad and Ange are totally cool with it.
In a 2010 interview with Vanity Fair, John’s mother, actress Angelina Jolie, said, “She wants to be a boy. So we had to cut her hair. She likes to wear boys’ everything. She thinks she’s one of the brothers.”
John Jolie-PittAnd, to the credit of the entire Jolie-Pitt clan, they’ve respected and accepted this. The whole family uses the name John, and for years, Brad and Ange’s oldest biological child has dressed and seemingly acted in traditionally masculine clothes and behaviours. The whole brood seems happy to accept John’s wish to be a boy.
Now, I remember my time as Prince Max very well. He was a huge, huge part of my identity– but he was just that: a part of it. I wanted to be like him, yes, but I knew he was a made-up character I used to have adventures. He was never me, and I never needed him to be. I was still a little girl, and happy to be so- I was just a little girl who loved being a prince and doing princely things.
Unpacking it now, as an adult, I can hazard a guess that it was something to do with the stuffy prince and princess gender roles that existed (and still do exist), that I wanted no part of- where Snow White cleaned and then passed out, her Prince rode a freakin’ cool horse and did what he wanted; while Ariel lost her voice, then her legs, and almost her life for a man, Eric, who got to play a piccolo and wander the beaches and sail the seven seas.
Lola when she was little.Eventually, I got to primary school and realised that none of my friends cared when I – ‘I’ being Lola, not Prince Max- played a prince and saved a girl from whoever was being the monster that day, and that I could be a girl AND be a hero. So I quickly said goodbye to Prince Max and said hello to myself once more.
Top Comments
If an adult wants to have a sex change fine, but I do have an issue with this concept that someone can be called a he or she if they want to. As far as I'm concerned if you were born with a vagina you are a girl, if instead a penis you are a boy.
I'm white but if I really feel that I relate much more to African American culture does that mean I can go around telling people that I'm African American? And wouldn't some actual African Americans be offended? I quite like cats, if I really feel that I relate more to cats than humans can I insist that all others call me a cat and have my birth certificate changed to that? Of course I realise there are a small percentage of people born intersex, but in general it is pretty clear what makes a woman a woman and a man a man.
The irony of all this is these articles make a big deal of the concept that gender doesn't matter, but the mere fact that some people would prefer to be, or feel that they do belong to the opposite gender, indicates to them gender is important because otherwise they wouldn't care less if they were born a man or a woman.
I really think people should do what makes them happy and if that involves a sex change so be it, but when the rest of us have to adjust our behaviour and call someone who was born with a vagina a boy or a they that's when it all gets a bit ridiculous.
seems nothing can be simple anymore.
I actually feel fortunate I'm not some extreme intellect that feels the need to keep up with everything new.
I raised 2 girls and when it came to identity, I kept it simple. Your're a girl.
Like all kids they asked questions when they got to a certain age but never did I think of asking them if they felt they identified more with a boy than girl.. Like where the heck would that come from talking to a child?