An ode to Shannon Noll, the forever runner-up.

Video by MWN

Nollsy, oh Nollsy.

You came into our lives some 15 years ago and put Condobolin on the map.

You sang some songs, introduced us to the problematic thing that is a “flavour saver” and wore a lot of black t-shirts with jeans.

You made it all the way to the grand finale at the Opera House… and then you came second.

While Guy Sebastian basked in the glory of his win, and his magnificent confetti-soaked ‘fro, you went back to Condo and asked “What About Me?”

We need to talk about the big problem with this season’s I’m A Celeb. Post continues.

It wasn’t fair… and you… you… wanted your share.

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You then brought a car… a big black shiny car.

After that we didn’t really hear from you for years. Well, except that one ‘incident’  that shall not be named.

Then you popped up in the jungle in this year’s I’m A Celeb and ate some spiders and hung out with some snakes and whatnot.

Things were going really well.

You got down to the top three and then bloody Sebastian sans ‘fro sent you a video message.

“G’day, Shannon. Wishing you luck, mate. Almost at the pointy end. We are doing it tough in solidarity for you, mate,” he said from the middle of a golf course, while probably mentally counting his millions.

“Last time I wished you luck, it was on the Idol stage, that didn’t pan out very well. Hopefully, it will pan out better this time. Good luck!”

And he jinxed you… he jinxed you and all the spiders and snakes in the jungle.

Fiona O’Loughlin was named the winner and you… number two.

You took your rightful place as the runner-up and once again reminded Australia that sometimes life “it isn’t fair” but you can always buy a “car” a “big black shiny car”.

And Australia responded the only way we know how to… by reminding you about that other time you came second.

Nollsy… while you might always come second, you’re number one in our hearts… and in our cars, our big black shiny cars.

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