One typical way of fighting heteronormativity is to answer the question, “When did you decide you were gay/lesbian/bisexual?” with “When did you decide you were straight?”

It turns the question on its head and gives the straight person a new perspective from which to evaluate their sexual identity.

However, the fact that a straight identity is most often assumed, unless otherwise specified, tells us a lot about the power heteronormativity still holds in our culture. The only identities that are questioned and challenged are non-heterosexual.

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The state of our culture, however, hides a different reality at the psychological level. Research into the development of heterosexual identity in young adults shows that the most secure and happiest heterosexual individuals actually came to adopt this identity through exploration and experimentation.

via GIPHY

One particular study by Sally L. Archer and Jeremy A. Gray, published in the journalIdentity

How Do We Choose Sexual Identities?

To understand what this study means, we first need to explain a few concepts. The first one is that of identity development.

The usual time for exploring and trying out new identities is the teenage years. We grow into adults and have to find our own identity, separate from that of our parents. That also includes our sexual identity.

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Psychologists measure the achievement

This particular study wanted to answer the following question: does identity achievement predict sexual maturity, positive sexual self-concepts, and effective sexual decision-making?

The answer was yes.

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Why Is Exploration Important?

We can come to a few conclusions about having a healthy sexuality based on this study.

The first: sexual exploration is healthy. The participants who had explored different options for their sexual identity scored the highest on sexual health measures. It means that taking an active part in choosing your own sexual identity is a good way to ensure that you'll have a happy sexual life.

This is where the problem with foreclosure comes to the forefront. Remember: foreclosure means that we've chosen a sexual identity (for example, heterosexuality) without having done any active exploration. In other words, we assume an identity without having tested it for ourselves first. People in the foreclosure stage scored lower on the sexual health measures used by the researchers.

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The study did not look at why some people were in the foreclosure stage. However, common sense tells us it could be one of many reasons: social and family pressure, religious beliefs, worries about status or perception, or simply not having been aware of other possibilities. No matter the reason, the issue remains: those who haven't actively explored their sexuality are more likely to be unhappy in their sex lives.

"...the most sexually satisfied straight people are those who took the time to explore different sexual identities." via iStock.

via iStock.

How Did You Come to Your Sexual Identity?

Personally, I've done my share of exploration and questioning. I called myself "bisexual" late in high school, and even though I've wavered from it a few times, I came back to this identity.

I feel more confident and happy in a sexual identity that I chose rather than one that's been imposed on me by others. Even when I considered myself straight, it was still my call, my choice.

I am currently committed to a bisexual identity. Yet what I am always and most strongly committed to is exploration and questioning. As we change over time, so do our potential identities. I will always be open to shifting mine if I feel it's necessary.

How about you? If you consider yourself straight, how did you come to this conclusion? Are you just assuming this default identity or did it come to you after exploration and consideration?

This article originally appeared on Kinkly and was republished with full permission.