We don’t mean to alarm you, but it’s Valentine’s Day this Wednesday.
For those who are part of a couple, that might mean a few things: a glass of wine, a ‘special’ dinner, and, hopefully, some extra special cuddling.
To ensure your Valentine’s Day finishes with a bang, couples therapist and sexologist Isiah McKimmie has listed her top 10 sex tips for keeping it alive in the bedroom.
They’re… steamy. So proceed with caution.
1. Make time for sex
We have such busy lives, the reality is that if we don’t make time for intimacy with our partner, it doesn’t happen – or it only happens late at night when you’re both tired. Making time for sex ensures that it happens and allows you to relax and enjoy it more.
Listen: Andrew and Holly talk about whether you need to schedule time in for sex to maintain a level of intimacy while raising kids. (Post continues…)
2. Take your time
Spending at least 20 minutes in foreplay can enhances enjoyment and increases your chance of having an orgasm. Relax and take your time so you can really enjoy yourselves.
3. Introduce a blindfold
Taking away the sense of sight involves a lot of trust and can build intimacy. It can also enhances the other senses such as touch.
4. Pleasure yourself for your lover
Our lovers love to see us enjoying ourselves. Self-pleasure in an incredible, intimate, playful way to begin love-making. Spice things up by giving your partner a little show of your pleasure. Yes, it’s vulnerable, but that’s what makes it so beautifully intimate.
5. Stimulate your breasts during sex
Nipple stimulation activates the same areas of the brain as genital stimulation. Because of this, some women can orgasm through nipple stimulation alone. Stimulating your breasts can add to your turn on and pleasure. It’s also a great visual show for your partner.
6. Gently play with his testicles during intercourse
The testicles can be a great source of pleasure for men but are often forgotten as attention goes to the shaft and head of the penis. Add tickling, pressure, slight squeezing or pulling of the testicles to enhance his pleasure. The amount of pressure will vary from man to man, so make sure you check in to find out what he enjoys. You can do this in numerous positions such as cowgirl or with him on top.
7. Give your lover positive feedback
Telling your partner what you’re enjoying is a great way to increase turn on for both of you and can be a good way to start ‘talking dirty’. You might say something like ‘I love the way you’re touching me right now, it feels so good.’
8. Build anticipation with sexting during the day
Research has shown that women who engage in sexting with their partner during the day are more likely to reach orgasm during sex in the evening. It’s also a great way to bring a smile to your partner’s face.
9. Use a vibrator on him during oral sex
The area between the testicles and the anus in men is known as the perineum and is particularly sensitive. This is due to its connection to the prostate - similar to the G-Spot in women.
The prostate can be stimulated directly by internal anal stimulation, but external perineum stimulation can also pleasure this area. You can stroke, use pressure, or even use a small, clitoral vibrator in this area as you give him a hand job or oral sex.
10. Include clitoral stimulation during intercourse
Direct clitoral stimulation increases a woman’s chance of reaching orgasm. Many women don’t orgasm though intercourse alone. Use your fingers, a position that gets maximum pressure on the clitoris or a vibrator on your clitoris during penetration sex to help take you over the edge to incredible orgasm.
For more from Isiah McKimmie, check out her website here.