sex

Five reasons you should most definitely have sex on the first date.

Whether you’re flicking through a magazine at your local supermarket, scrolling through your news feed, or chatting with your friends over dinner, you are no doubt receiving the message loud and clear: Never, ever, have sex on the first date.

It’s a trap, we’re told.

The myth goes that if you sleep with them on the first date, what else is there to give? “Make them wait…” we’re advised, “play the game”.

As women, we’re meant to be the gatekeepers of our sexuality. We’re meant to dangle sex, cheekily, above our love interests head, so they’ll want us more. Words like ‘self-respect’ start creeping in. They need to know our worth. 

LISTEN: What is the perfect response to a dick pic? We discuss on Mamamia Out Loud. 

Women never ‘want’ sex, of course. We ‘give’ it, like a special little gift.

But I’m here to tell you what deep down you already know: That’s bullshit.

Firstly, the offer of sex is not where your value begins and ends. If a potential partner only wants you for the possibility of sex, then he/she isn’t someone you would want to date long term anyway. Sex on the first date has as much to do with self-respect as my little toe has to do with Kazakhstan. Nothing.

Here are five reasons why you absolutely should have sex on the first date.

1. Because you FEEL LIKE IT.

Ah, yes. This is a very controversial one that needs lots of explaining.

Women sometimes really feel like having sex, because of biological impulses etc. perpetuation of the human species etc. etc. Similarly to how sometimes we feel like chocolate, sometimes we feel like sex, and that is a THING that is absolutely OKAY.

feeling's for a sibling's partner
Because you feel like it. Image via iStock.
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2. Because it doesn't have to be a 'big thing' you endlessly hold out for.

Arbitrary rules about when you can and cannot have sex are not doing us any favours.

You don't have to 'hold out' until date five because you read once that any sex before that means he/she will lose interest. In fact, having sex early is a great test. Which brings me to point number three...

3. It saves time.

Having sex on the first date is, if nothing else, efficient. 

If he/she just wants you for the sex, then sleeping with them straight up is a great test. Don't get a call the next day? Sweet. Cross them off the list.

You can also tell whether this is going to evolve romantically, or if you lack a connection.

4. Because you can tell upfront if you're sexually compatible.

You might get along really well and have lots of common interests, but you don't want to 'date' someone who you share no sexual chemistry with.

You can discover if you're sexually compatible. Image via Netflix.

Sometimes, it's the people you least expect who you are the most sexually compatible with, and sex is a big part of a relationship.

Of course, the sex might not be mind-blowing the first time, but you can most definitely tell if it's worth romantically pursuing.

5. Because sex is fun.

Let me rephrase that: Good sex is lots of fun. Bad sex is not.

If you know what you want, and you feel comfortable and respected, sex can be a great way to spend a Saturday night.

You can listen to the full episode of Mamamia Out Loud, here. 

What are your thoughts on sex on the first date? 

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