'He was worried my breasts were going to leak all over him.' 5 women on having sex after childbirth.

Any woman knows that after giving birth, things can change. Whether it is physically, socially, emotionally or hormonally, there are some things that can be seen, or felt, in a different light once your family has welcomed its newest member.

For many women, having sex for the first time is one of these things. While some women feel undesirable after giving birth, others can feel anxious about pain or that things may have physically altered down there and feel different; perhaps not as good. For other women, the passion and desire for sex has grown even stronger.

Mamamia spoke with five mums about their personal experiences of having sex again after giving birth. Here's what they shared.

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Video by Mamamia.


Shannon, a mum to three boys, said that each of her experiences of having sex after birth were very different.

"My first son was born via an emergency c-section and I was physically wiped, not just immediately but for months. It took about four months to even want to be remotely intimate with my husband, so even kissing or touching was a no-go for a long period."

Shannon said that for her, it wasn’t about not feeling attracted to her husband.


"I was just exhausted in every way you can be. After six months I ended up initiating sex one night after a couple of glasses of wine. It wasn’t painful, it wasn’t mind-blowing, it was fine, but it was more than anything a relief!" she said.

While her first post-birth sex experience wasn’t what Shannon describes as "positive", the other two were "much better".

"The second time around I waited the six weeks post c-section, and I felt ready not long after that. In my third and final experience, I was so ready to go we only waited five weeks," she said.

"The sex [was] more enjoyable too. I was much more relaxed and less exhausted, so it didn’t feel like something I had to do, it was something I wanted to do."


Emma, a mother of one, told Mamamia that in her experience, the post-childbirth stage was more of a turn-on than a turn-off.

"I had a c-section, so I had to wait six weeks, but I felt very attracted to my partner seeing him with our baby, so I would have loved to have had sex with him as soon as we got home from the hospital!"


For mum of two Amelia, her experiences were very different with each child.

"After my firstborn I was ready to be intimate at two weeks postpartum and so we did. All went fine, and we had a great time. My husband was in no way pressuring me at all, I asked the question and suggested it myself," she told Mamamia.

"After my second, we were in a very different boat. We’d had an NICU experience, separated due to living regionally, two under two and I think it was five weeks postpartum when I told my husband I wouldn’t be ready any time soon. We were ultimately intimate at five weeks postpartum."


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Amelia said that physically the two experiences were very different too.

"Physically, the first time – it was great. We both enjoyed it. I had no pain. My husband also said it felt the same. But the second time, at least to me, felt different. I can’t put my finger on how it was different, but due to a slight graze that I had it took a bit of manoeuvering," she said.

Amelia said that position was important for her.

"I insisted on being on top for the first time after both kids. I just felt I was a little more in control. Both times I was nervous, but my husband was receptive and was careful and asked how I was feeling throughout. Once we both got comfortable, we were fine. After it though, I was ready for a nap."


For Olivia and her partner, having sex again took a long time due to a traumatic birth experience.

"It was a long time – about six months I think. It definitely wasn’t me waiting. I wanted to be intimate as soon as I’d recovered but my partner was very scarred from seeing all the blood everywhere (I lost three litres). I was nervous but wanted things to get back to normal again and feel desired again."


As well as her partner’s reaction to the birth, Olivia also said he was "very nervous of my breasts for a long time. I think he was worried they were going to leak all over him."

"I felt very rejected and very upset, on top of all the tiredness and hormones."

When Olivia and her partner did have sex, she said that they "took things very, very slowly."

"I really focused on kissing and holding hands – just general intimacy. When it finally happened, it felt very natural and normal and I am glad I hadn’t tried to force it earlier."


For mother-of-one, Kate, who had an emergency c-section, "having sex again didn’t worry me at all."

"I may have been more nervous about pain if I hadn’t had a c-section, but I didn’t have to worry about that. I just waited the six weeks, and it felt like it had before," she told Mamamia.

"Although my personal experience was positive, I think it is important for women to not be hard on themselves if they aren’t ready. Your body has just been through something huge, so be gentle on yourself, your partner will understand."

*Names have been changed

Shona Hendley, Mother of Goats, Cats and Humans is a freelance writer from Victoria. An ex secondary school teacher, Shona has a strong interest in education and is a passionate animal lover and advocate. You can follow her on Instagram here.

Feature Image: Getty.