By: Aly Walansky for YourTango.
We hear all sorts of myths about sex after marriage. Some will insist their bedroom is as steamy as ever; others will confide it’s a steady descent into oblivion. But what’s the reality? How does your sex life change after you’ve been married a long time — say 25+ years? We asked these couples and they told us the dirty truth.
Result: Just like in any relationship, young or seasoned, it varies!
1. Steady and strong.
“I have been married 32 years and we are intimate once, sometimes twice a week.”
“My husband and I are in our early 60s and unfortunately, sex is zero times per week, month or otherwise. We’ve been married almost 26 years and the first 20-some were wonderful in the bedroom. Menopause hit and I was on doses of estrogen and things were going fine. However, studies came out showing hormone replacement therapy caused a bunch of medical problems and my girlfriends encouraged me to quit. Dumbest thing I ever did.
I went through another round of menopause symptoms which stripped me of all desire and made intercourse extremely painful. I tried taking creams, pills, patches, whatever, to increase estrogen over the years but nothing ever worked. Husband is not happy but has resigned himself to the future. I feel bad for him and yes, I could pleasure him, but attitude-wise, that’s right up there with doing the laundry. It’s a chore I’d rather not be stuck with.”
We’re having none.
3. Still hot.
“Our 25th anniversary is coming up and we have sex, on average, twice a week. Usually after our date night on Thursdays (sometimes more than once) and again a few other times when we can get it in. There are times, however, as I age where I just don’t feel like it. The longest we’ve ever gone without being intimate, save for the birth of our children, was two weeks.”
4. Refresh my memory?
“Can someone remind me exactly what sex is? It’s been so long I can’t remember.”
5. Frisky and fun.
“Twenty years ago we stole every moment we could to have sex. Now we’re empty nesters so we can have sex anytime we want so the thrill of sneaking a moment is gone but instead we have foreplay all day long with looks, texts (yes, we’re old but we sext!), and sometimes we simply plan it. Life can get extremely busy and a week can go by whether neither of us initiates. We know each other so well that you never have to worry about a laughing spurt, or anything else that may have embarrassed us 20 years ago.”
We even sext.
6. There’s a season.
“Three stages of marriage: The newlywed stage, you have sex in every room of the house; the honeymoon is over stage, you have sex in just the bedroom; and the “been married for a long time” stage, you walk by each other in the hallway and say F— You!”
7. There was a time…
“I’m in the middle of a divorce. We almost made it to 25 years. After 10 years and the third child, things went from infrequently to non-existent by the time we filed for the divorce.”
Has your long term relationship affected your sex life?
This post was originally published YourTango.
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