1. Excuse us, but Hollywood’s juiciest ‘love square’ just got juicier.
Let's begin with a saucy romantic tabloid fairytale, shall we?
There once was a couple named Jelena. They were one part Christian tattooed pop star, one part angelic singing sweet heart. Their romance lasted for approximately two and a half troll-filled years, before they parted ways in 2014.
Anyway, for Justin Bieber, breaking up meant dating oh, maybe just every model under the sun.
For Selena Gomez, it meant falling in love with the world's second most famous singer, The Weeknd.
Ah yes, let's debrief about the third player in this love square, The Weeknd.
The Weeknd was dating Victoria's Secret supermodel Bella Hadid (she's love square person number four), and had been since 2015. They had a puppy together named Hendrix together, actually. They were cute. Dated for a year and a half. Walked many a red carpet arm-in-arm. Whatever.
Then they broke up in late 2016. Within weeks, though, The Weeknd and Selena Gomez were papped making out next to a big old garbage disposal bin (no, really). They were, from that point, an official item. Bella Hadid wasn't exactly thrilled by this and posted a photo of her rude finger to Insta because 2017. Justin Bieber was equally peeved and told a magazine "that shit’s whack,” because, well, 2017.
By this October, as far as the world knew, The Weeknd and Selena Gomez were dating, and all was going fine, until photos of Jelena on a breakfast date, then riding their bikes together emerged. Then there were leaked videos of them professing their love to each other and woah woah woah sorry what? JELENA ARE BACK ON.
JELENA ARE BACK O-N.
Selena and The Weeknd had quietly split after 10 months of dating, apparently. But that's old news. Because Jelena are back ON.
And the reason we're telling you this very convoluted tale right now? Because this love square just got even juicier.
Yes, readers, YES. Not only are Jelena are "thing" again, but The Weeknd was just photographed leaving ex Bella Hadid's New York City apartment overnight after spending, ahem, "several hours there". So it very much appears, people, that they're back on too.
And so, the square of
life celebrity love drama is complete :')
2. The 2017 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is quickly turning out to be a goddamn disaster.
Forget a parade of underwear, this year's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show shall henceforth be known as a Logistical Nightmare.
The annual event is due to take place in Shanghai in just two weeks but sources have told Page Six that the poor people whose job it is to coordinate media coverage are 'on the verge of nervous breakdowns'.
The problem? Strict Chinese regulation. Fashion bloggers aren't getting visas, TV stations are being told they can't shoot outside the arena and the poor Victoria's Secret PR team can't even send out press releases without having them pre-approved by government officials.
"It’s just a nightmare for all the media trying to cover [the show]. These TV companies are spending a fortune on it, and they don’t even know what they can shoot when they get there," a source told the gossip pages.
Fashionista reports that several models from Russia and the Ukraine are also struggling to obtain or have been denied visas, meaning they will be unable to walk in the show.
Somehow, we don't think undies sans models will have quite the same impact.
3. Elon Musk is in "severe emotional pain" after his break up with Amber Heard.
Tesla founder Elon Musk has done a remarkable thing in proving celebrities aren't actually robots and do have real feelings after all. Who knew!
In an interview with Rolling Stone, the tech giant touched on his recent break-up with actress Amber Heard.
"I just broke up with my girlfriend. I was really in love, and it hurt bad," he told the magazine. "Well, she broke up with me more than I broke up with her, I think."
He went on to say he has been in "severe emotional pain" for the last few weeks.
"If I'm not in love, if I'm not with a long-term companion, I cannot be happy," he said.
"I will never be happy without having someone. Going to sleep alone kills me."
And, well, that escalated quickly, but when you've got a brain as full as his, we're assuming it shouldn't take him long to find a date. He basically invented the world. Basically.
4. J-Law RUES THE DAY Emma Stone got the Easy A role over her.
Well, well, well.
It turns out your one of your favourite movie characters - Olive Penderghast of Easy A - -could've in fact been played by Jennifer Lawrence. But she's not bitter about it. Not bitter at all.
During The Hollywood Reporter’s most recent ‘Actress Roundtable’, Emma Stone was asked her favourite line she’s had to ever perform.
“‘Piss off, Quiznos.' That’s from Easy A. I shove a Quiznos guy and say, ‘Piss off, Quiznos,’” she revealed.
Then came Lawrence, who interjected.
“I auditioned for Easy A. I wanted it so bad,” she revealed, only to hit with the same sassy wit from her co-star.
“Well, guess what? You didn’t get it. You didn’t get it because you suck.”
5. Can someone please tell Ben Affleck to shut the hell up?
If we’ve learnt anything in the past month, it’s that sexual assault is not a laughing matter… unless you’re Ben Affleck in which case you’ve learnt nothing at all.
During an interview with the Justice League cast, when asked if they could pick any character to join the cast for a sequel, Afleck responds with “Black Canary, we could use more women.”
Hmmm… fair enough...
— ً (@stormpiIott) November 13, 2017
Then when asked "what would you get up to if you had Super Girl joining the team?” cast member Ray Fisher first responded with, “it would just create a different dynamic,” however it was at this point that Affleck interrupted with, "are you following the news at all?"...
*crickets, silence, Drogo/Jason Momoa looks like he's about to punch something*
the jl cast’s reactions to ben affleck dropping a joke about all the sexual assault allegations in hollywood is like a renaissance painting pic.twitter.com/HHWjPxPkt5
— gracelord (@rickdeckards) November 14, 2017
Of course referring to the recent string of sexual assault allegations in Hollywood, Affleck laughs, the rest of the cast awkwardly looks on, Fisher tries to act like nothing happened, and the rest of the world struggles to unclench their jaws.