9 things I really truly meant to do these school holidays (and forgot).

Where did the last few weeks go?

Last time I looked, I was watching The Wizard of Oz and baking with my kids. Then suddenly, before I could click my ruby heels it was back-to-school time.

So much to be achieved — actually wasn’t. So many lists and goals I had hoped to tick off weren’t just overlooked, they were totally forgotten.

I just thought I had more time and suddenly it seems I’ve run out of time to do these things…

1. Teach my soon-to-start-school boy to read.

I know the adage is that school is where they do their learning, but I did have grand plans to give my second-born a head start.

I was hoping that by the time he set his first reluctant shiny new-shoe steps on the burning asphalt that he would be confident with his letters and happily skipping the reading levels like his peers who’d done years of pre-school classes and tutoring around him.

But alas, the everyday grind of beach visits and surfing, swimming pool races and games of hide and seek have taken over from my plans of hours and hours of nose-to-the-grindstone.

Sorry kindy teachers, I am going to have to leave that responsibility with you.

2. Find out a harmonious way to make my kids stop bickering.

I had my book list prepared in Amazon: Siblings without Rivalry, Peaceful kids, happy parents, Ending Sibling Rivalry.

A quick pursue of these titles, a game plan for the days ahead. The holidays were going to be zen-filled days of peaceful, even-keeled playing. There was going to be calm negotiation and understanding. There was going to be a PLAN.

Uh-oh.

Instead of the cool tones of civilised conversation there’s been the usual background of world war three.

He-took-my-boogie-board. Muuuummmmm-it’s-my-turn-on-the-iPad. I-hate-him. I-want-a-turn. IT’S-NOT-FAIR.

Perhaps next time?

3. Sort out the toy room.

There was even a date set for this definite feature in my holiday list — the day the old toys were going out and the new ones in. There were dreams of trips to Ikea and shiny white baskets with labels.

Each day as I wade through the pieces of broken Barbie and splayed Nerf-gun bullets, I am reminded of how inviting this plan was.

4. Teach my 7-year-old to tie his shoelaces.

Aw, come on. They have Velcro on EVERYTHING thing these days.

I know that Johnny Gordon from number three has been tying his own laces since he could walk but my kids are obviously very skilled at other things. (You should see how they wipe out those zombies in Minecraft.)

To be fair, I am going to be teaching him the art of asking for help nicely. As he is back to school this year complete with a pair of black Clarkes with fancy new laces so he will be skilled at asking several teachers, (many times a day) to please, please help him tie his shoes.

5. Get my kids to sleep through the night.

It was more of a desperate need than a plan. For seven years now three small bodies have been weaving their way throughout the hallways of our home in the deep hours of the night. One by one they play an intricate game of bed hopping.

Each night, I have had enough. Each night I vow to sort it out. And each night I fall desperately into sleep too exhausted to do anything about it.

One day my pretties. One day.

6. Teach them to get their own breakfast.

I read about this kind of fantasy on Facebook. Small children creating al-a-carte breaky and cleaning up, before they Instagram it.

I was going to get mine there. Just after I clean up the mess.

7. Cut out junk food.

I even bought a Nutribullet! There were freshly shucked juices for a day for the kids; there were visits to the local whole foods grocer (that’s a health food store for you guys still stuck in 1993).

But they slowly gave way to a banana smoothie with honey, then ice cream. Then (I am ashamed to say) we experimented with a Milo shake, and choc-chip cookie dough.

Maybe I will try again when school goes back.

8. Finish toilet training my youngest.

I am not sure I delayed this one… Just maybe, I conveniently “forgot”.

9. Give up alcohol…

There’s always the next school holidays, isn’t there?

What grand plans did you make for the school holidays that you didn’t follow through on?

Looking for more great parenting advice? Try these:

One woman’s simple parenting advice: “Don’t kill them.”

Parenting advice I wish I had when I was a first time mum.

What’s the advice you would give your child?