When one thinks about what a healthy sex life looks like, we often envision passion and spontaneity.
While both of those things certainly can be an integral part of an intimate relationship, I don’t happen to think they are as necessary as the movies would have us believe.
It’s true, we’ve been conditioned since a young age to believe that sex should look like can’t wait another second to tear your clothes off so we’re doin’ it in the apartment building elevator after a sexy, romantic dinner at the fancy new restaurant that features an aphrodisiac menu.
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In reality, and especially once children are in the mix, making sex part of your routine, like a scheduled chore you check off your list each week, can be the best thing for you… at least, it was for me.
After we had our first kid, we decided it would be a good idea to have a weekly standing sex date.
This meant that we would for sure orgasm and have a moment of intimacy with one another at least weekly. In terms of what research tells us about lasting relationships, having sex on average one time per week felt right.
We decided that naptime on Saturdays would be our go-to for our weekly sex date. Why a midday rendezvous? Why would I decide to display my postpartum body in all its stretched out, mammary gland leaking glory during daylight hours?
If we’re being honest, it was because we were just too tired to do it at night.
Because our kid was a terrible sleeper, we were both up a lot all night, every night for years.
This meant that by the time the children (yes, we had a second quite quickly after the first – thanks scheduled sex!) were in bed for the night, we were both too fried to do more than sit next to each other on the couch and watch junk TV for an hour before passing out.
We could pretty much guarantee, however, that, with both of us home on Saturdays at midday, we could manage to get both kids down for a nap around the same time.
This became our sexy time – usually followed by a nap for both of us as well!
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