Do you remember the good old days? Those endlessly long, summer days when you first met your partner? The evenings filled with fun frisky dates and the nights when sex came easily (yes, that is a euphemism).
Those days? They were filled with the mystery of someone new and the excitement of exploration.
These days though? There is nothing new left to explore, except perhaps that receding hair line or that
wrinkle laugh line that appeared 18 months ago. As for mystery, that was delivered with the placenta and has long since departed.
Holly Wainwright and Andrew Daddo discuss parent sex on this week’s episode of This Glorious Mess. Post continues below.
It’s not that the love between you has dried up (yep, that’s a euphemism too). It’s just that the frission of anticipation which felt permanent when you first met, is now fleeting at best.
Many couples go through a time during which their libidos are mismatched and most people will go through a stage of low sex drive.
There’s no doubt that having kids can throw a serious spanner in your hanky panky works. For example, Reddit user Throwaway2016dad says that kids, and the way he and his partner have chosen to parent them has mean that sex has all but stopped.
He writes; “I’m almost at my wits, it’s been quite a while without sex and I don’t know what to tell her or do. We have a lot of fights because of this.”
Often times, the hormones associated with breastfeeding can lower a new mother’s sex drive (helping to space pregnancies out.)
Many parents, many mothers, report feeling ‘touched out’.
Stress, mental illness, age, medication and lifestyle factors can also affect your libido.