
"Can you take me to the shops?"
"I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, I need a lift."
"I have work, can I take the car?"
If you, like me, are between about 40 and 50 years old, then you are likely to have received some of these messages. That is because we are what they often refer to as the 'sandwich generation'.
And no, I am not part of the sandwich generation because I make sandwiches all day.
This is the term coined to refer to anyone caring for their ageing parents while simultaneously raising their kids.
Mamamia Out Loud host Holly Wainwright discusses why parental equality isn't just a woman's issue. Post continues below.
The mental load for most families falls on the shoulders of women, and caring for our ageing parents is just one more thing to juggle in our already busy lives.
I am fortunate that my son is old enough to have his licence, so he can drive himself wherever he needs to go. However, we often need to discuss the juggle of our second car.
My daughters have part-time jobs which is fantastic, except the getting to and from work responsibility is something that falls mostly to me. My husband usually does the late night shift pick ups, unless he is having Zoom drinks with friends.
There is enough negotiating in our house with three kids, two cars, and three drivers without adding into the mix ageing parents.
My husband’s mother lives nearby in an aged care village. Fortunately, he has a sister close by and two other sisters, who share the load of caring for their mum, despite not living locally.
On the other hand, my parents live about 90 minutes away from me and while they are in relatively good health and still live at home, there is always a worry in the back of my mind. Mum had a little eye problem not so long ago, but because of the current lockdowns in New South Wales, I couldn’t just pop down and check on them, which makes it hard.
Now and then I will also get a call asking if I can help them with this or that. Typically, it is something to do with technology, though my brother usually gets the phone calls around how to program the TV.