I go to yoga twice a week. I ride my bike to work. I was feeling pretty damn fit and content with my fitness regimen.
The former The Bachelor star has recently launched his 28:28 fitness program, which involves 28 days of 28-minute workouts. That sounded pretty doable to me.
I arrived at Sam’s gym, The Woodshed, in my yoga pants and stylish cotton tee, sans towel or even water, ready for a stretch and maybe a little light jog around the room. Within minutes I realised what I was in for… and I had a feeling of overwhelming regret for not bringing that towel I left in my car.
Any of us would be forgiven for thinking the fitness routine we stick to each and every week is working all of our muscles properly. But as I learned the hard way, this is a horrible, horrible lie I had been telling myself for far too long.
Here are the 28 thoughts that went though my head during 28 minutes of
torture working out with Sam Wood.
Watch Lizzie’s pre-workout chat with Sam Wood. (Post continues after video.)
1. “This warm up is surprisingly… erm … wow, little out of breath here. It’s okay. It’s fine! Maybe it’s just my muscles stretching out after sitting down all day.”
2. “Nope. Not stretching out.”
3. “Onto activities now. Luckily legs are my strong point.”
4. “Aaaand it’s all arms work. Brilliant.”
5. “I really wish I’d brought that towel now.”
6. “Surely we’re at least halfway through now? Surely…?”
7. “I wonder… if I just put this mini weight down right here while Sam isn’t looking. Can I trick him into thinking I’ve finished the reps?”
8. “Well, that didn’t work. Although he is very encouraging, considering I am struggling to lift a mini weight.”
9. “Note to self: need to do arm workouts more often.”
10. “He says, ‘Let’s cool down now on the bike before the next circuit.’ Cool down? I am not cool in ANY sense of the word.”
11. “Am I actually dripping sweat onto the bike? Surely no one else saw that.”
12. “Aaaand there’s the camera. Right in my face.”
13. “I seriously wish I’d brought that f*cking towel.”
14. “Is my camerawoman, Michelle, laughing so hard that the camera is shaking? Or has my eyesight begun to give out?”
15. “I don’t even know what that muscle is, or that it even existed, but it is very much there right now.”
16. “Wait. We’ve stopped. It’s over now…?”
17. “I AM A CHAMPION.”
18. “‘ONE MORE ROUND,’ he says.”
19. “What. The. F*ck.”
20. “Reaaaaally could use that towel right about now.”
21. “I didn’t even take my goddamn makeup off properly. I must look like a panda that just climbed out of a pool.”
22. “I wonder if I have hyperhidrosis? This amount of sweat cannot be normal.”
23. “Dropping the ball has never felt so literal. Except that I don’t have the strength to actually lift the damn thing properly.”
24. “I wonder if I’m working out even harder because my arms are shaking so much. That’s like a double workout, right?”
25. “Is it a prerequisite that you need to be good-looking to work at this gym? It’s sickening.”
26. “I don’t know what will kill me first: drowning in my own sweat, or humiliation.”
27. “Wait — it’s almost over. I am Rocky right now. I AM KING ROCKY.”
28. “That wasn’t so hard. I could totally do it again… just not right now.”
After that ordeal, I am definitely signing up to other classes at the gym.
I have never been so aware that I don’t use certain muscles than the following day when I couldn’t sit down/reach my arm up for anything. Also, you can now refer to me with my nickname: “King Rock.”
Over and out.
What are you usually thinking during a workout?
You can find out more about Sam Wood’s new app, 28:28 here. It offers workouts for all different levels in just 28 minutes, as well as nutritional advice, recipes, and mindfulness.