It’s time we had a conversation about lateness.
Because, as someone who’s spent much of my life running late to things, I want all the people who’ve spent time waiting for me at a cafe, or restaurant, or wedding, that while it is my fault it’s not because I’m a terrible person.
It’s generally agreed by punctual people that people who are late are the worst: we’re rude, inconsiderate, selfish. Being late means you might not get hired, promoted, or even become someone’s real friend. We’re bad friends, bad colleagues, and terrible husbands/wives.
There are lots of reasons different people are late, in my case I was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder as a kid, or “red cordialosis” as some call it. As an adult you learn to manage the quirks of being ADD but a casual relationship to time is one of those things that sticks.
My ADD definitely plays a big role in my lateness because the first rule of ADD club is “Wow, look, a bird”. In the words of ADDitude (yes, that’s its name, a name was clearly come with way after a deadline had passed if ever there was one). “Some experts think that ADHDers perceive time not as a sequence but as a diffuse collection of events that are viscerally connected to the people, activities, and emotions involved in them. ADHDers don’t see events; they “feel” them.”
Yep, to put it another way, when I’m late it’s not because I’ve made a cost benefit analysis and decided my time is worth more than yours. That’s approaching time like a banker. I don’t approach time like a banker. I approach time like a dog. I’m vaguely aware that it’s happening but i’m much more aware that I can smell bacon and it smells good.
So to help you understand here are 7 of the reasons i’m usually late.