I stood there, not knowing what to say, with thousands of thoughts racing through my head.
Did he really just say that? Did I hear him right? No, he wouldn’t. Yes, he did! And in the blink of an eye my world fell apart…. I was given an impossible choice to make that would end my marriage either way.
What am I talking about, I hear you say….
It all started on a Friday morning in June 2013. I recently had some routine blood tests done at the doctor’s office when I received a telephone call that would change my life.
The doctor congratulated me on my pregnancy and informed me I would need to book in for my early pregnancy assessment due to my previous pregnancy history. I was delighted but nervous as we hadn't planned this pregnancy.
I told my husband the wonderful news and I could tell immediately by the look on his face he wasn't happy. He told me he didn't want the baby, didn't want to talk about it, and I was not to tell anyone. My heart sank.
We drove to our friends in Scotland as planned and spent the weekend. We didn't discuss the pregnancy and the weekend was a struggle both physically and emotionally.
Days went by and he didn't want to talk about it. We argued like never before and then one day, two weeks after the telephone call, my world fell apart.
"I don't want the baby," he said. "I never wanted her," pointing to our beautiful 20-month-old daughter. "I only married you and had her for you. If you have this baby, our marriage is over. It's our marriage or the baby," and he left.