You’ve heard of Bitchy Resting Face (BRF). It’s a condition that causes your facial features to fall into an unapproachable expression, or “bitch face”. Something like this:
But there’s a lesser known, more invasive condition affecting millions of sweet-cheeked people around the world. It’s called Resting Nice Face.
Those of us who live with Resting Nice Face (RNF) know the struggles of being approachable to everyone, always. We know what it’s like to be spoken to, touched, approached, and confided in by every passing human being. We know what it’s like for the check-out chick at Woolies to tell you her entire life story as she puts your multiple packets of mini magnums into plastic bags.
We know. Oh, we know.
Here are 7 very real daily struggles only those of us with Resting Nice Face will truly understand.
1. Total strangers ask you for directions on the street.
Even when you’re in Rome. Even when you’re obviously completely lost yourself.
2. People are truly shocked when you swear or say something rude.
Use this to your fucking advantage. Your sweet face means that your swears will be triply effective when deployed properly.
3. Charity collectors practically sprint towards you.
Stop looking so generous all the time. They can smell your kindness.
4. All your unfunny acquaintances target you with their stupid jokes.
My stupid nice-looking face that makes you think I’ll laugh at anything you say.
5. You are known to all salespeople as “sweetheart”.
Also “love,” “darl” and “baby” depending on the situation.
6. For you, public transport is an obstacle course of new, inconvenient friendships.
You’re frequently running late because someone at the bus stop or the train platform stopped you for life advice, a friendly chat, or just to forge a weird and immediate connection with you as a human being.
7. You’re always asked for ID.
Not because you look young, necessarily. But because the bouncer just feels compelled to have a chat.
These famous people living with Resting Nice Face know exactly what I’m talkin’ about: