This is not a situation I want to be in and I wouldn’t wish this on anybody. I'm estranged from my son, his wife and my two young grandchildren. I'm unable to do or say anything without being told that I'm in the wrong. My daughter-in-law deliberately misconstrues everything I say or do so I can be perceived as the villain. I will always love my son and have tried to be the best parent I could be with the knowledge I had at the time. My son is a grown man in his thirties.
I don’t feel comfortable in my daughter-in-law’s presence as I feel I am being judged and found lacking. I actually shut down and don’t want to say very much at all because whatever I do say gets turned around and is used to justify how I am treated.
They don’t consider or acknowledge what their behaviour is doing to me and my husband and it’s causing considerable distress and emotional trauma. I'm a human being with feelings, emotions and flaws.
Here's an example of one of the messages I've received from my daughter-in-law.
"I could go on for months about the neglect we’ve felt from you and your husband over the years but I know you are aware as this has been brought to your attention on two other occasions. Figure it out, stop with the manipulating, neglectful behaviour, be a mother that he desperately wants and needs or leave him completely alone."
The type of relationship my daughter-in-law is referring to is one where she is in total control of any contact between my adult son and us. My son has never indicated or asked for a closer relationship with me. I have tried in the past but to be shut down and laughed at when you try to explain or want to discuss anything is extremely hurtful. From the very beginning it was obvious that my daughter-in-law didn’t want a relationship with me. I'm not allowed into their lives or my grandchildren’s lives. The only way I can contact them is by mail. As my daughter-in-law has blocked me on socials and mobile.