And how to break your bad love habits for good.
We all know someone who’s made disastrous love choices.
The girlfriend who married a nice guy, had three great kids, then left to shack up with her nightmare ex, who everyone else hated.
The bright, successful career girl who slays them in the boardroom but stays with a no-hoper boyfriend who’s addicted to both drugs and other women.
Celebrities aren’t immune – Myleene Klass claims she’ll never marry again after her ex did the dirty after just six months.
Why did they choose them? Why don’t they leave? We think to ourselves.
How women who are often intelligent, attractive and normal could end up in these situations really is beyond us.
When people constantly go out with people who are bad for them, it’s usually because they’ve developed a destructive relationship pattern.
It’s not rotten luck – they’re subconsciously choosing people who treat them badly because of something which happened in the past.
How healthy are your love habits?
You’ve got bad love habits if you answer yes to more than six of these questions about past or current partners:
1. You love your partner, even though your head says you're incompatible.
2. You put up with being treated badly and keep on loving in the face of abuse, neglect and little positive reward.
3. You believe there's only one magic person out there who can make you truly happy. This is exceedingly dangerous - you'll put up with all sorts if you're convinced your partner is the only person who can make you happy. Not true. There are lots of people who will.
4. You've tried to leave in the past but can't. You're miserable in relationships but unhappier without them.
5. They left you but you won't accept they're gone. You say things like, 'I know he's living with her but his heart's still with me'.
6. Your relationships are bad but sex is usually fantastic. Destructive relationships stretch emotions to screaming point with one positive: sex feeds off danger, so sex is likely to be charged. Sadly, we spend the majority of time not having sex.
7. Your friends and family rarely like the partners you choose.
8. When you fall in love, other people suffer. You stop seeing people who are important to you because you know they'll see how unhappy you are and force you to leave.