I only live life a little bit. Not to the fullest, not with gusto and excitement. I live a life that I never planned for. I have a beautiful caring loving husband and two beautiful daughters, but they only get a little bit of me and this is not what I planned.
I did all the things that every young women does. Finished school, went to university, got a great job and traveled the world. But I couldn’t work out why I never had as much energy as everyone else. I was always tired. Then in 1998 something weird happened. I got a severe ear infection. I’d never had one in my life and the pain was horrendous. I was treated with antibiotics and steroids. But then it got stranger still, that year I had another four ear infections. Three years and 15 ear infections later, I saw an ear nose and throat specialist, but he could find no reason why I kept getting infections.
So I carried on, but just didn’t feel “normal”. Over the next ten years I had up to 50 ear infections and the infections were so bad that I was hospitalised on 3 occasions. I felt tired, had joint pains and just felt useless. I had my daughters by this stage and I couldn’t keep up with caring for them. I thought I was pathetic and lazy. Doctors handed me out antidepressants because they said I was stressed. One doctor told me I was having panic attacks. I had never had one in my life. I thought I was crazy and that the doctors thought I was wasting their time. Neurologists, rheumatologists, endocrinologists and ear nose and throat doctors dismissed me. Very few listened to me and very few spent more than 15 minutes examining me.