Warning: This post deals with an aggressive sexual encounter and may be triggering for some people.
It’s always strange how people change. As they age, as they grow - the things we loved about them twist so sharply until they’re unrecognisable to us. You notice these things about a person, even when you don’t know them very well at all. For me, it’s what happened with Alex.
I met him many years ago, and I remember his enthusiasm brimming over the surface of his mind and affect; he was a buoyant, affable young person glowing with boyish charm. That alone was enough to make him attractive to me.
I could tell he was interested in me, too, when his cousin, one of my best friends, introduced us on the patio of his summer beach house. I felt an instant connection to him. It was a shallow, instinctual connection — but still, an authentic one.
Watch: Mamamia Confessions - Relationship deal-breakers.
It wasn’t until a year later that we acted on our shared attraction. We met again, at a uni party. He was a little older, a little sharper, but still full of joy. We slept together that night with no guilt or commitment to one another. We had a good time together, and remained friends in the months following.
The reckoning that changed everything
Two years later, Alex had a serious girlfriend. From what my best friend told me, she was a nice, wholesome girl. I was happy for him.
Later that summer, on a humid, windless night, Alex and I were back at the same beach house where we first met with our mutual friends. It was odd, the two of us there together, with our shared history and past feelings. It was immediately clear that we were different people.