I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that marriage is not always a picnic. You won’t always get along. You won’t always feel close. Sometimes you won’t even like your spouse. Like any other relationship or important project, a marriage requires continuous time and effort to maintain its health and keep the bond between spouses strong!

It is not uncommon for every marriage to endure at least one trial. Things may become very dark in a marriage with stress added from financial problems, a health crisis, family problems, and many other daily issues that begin to chip away at the foundation of the marriage. A patch of marital strain need not result in divorce. A couple can resurrect the union through communication, dedicating time to share together, and a strong commitment to regain trust, respect, and affection. Some couples find counselling, regular dates, and other methods helpful to get back on track.

Listen: Often the hardest question in a divorce is what’s the best thing for the kids?

I would never tell a couple to throw in the towel on their marriage just because the relationship begins to lack the former sparkle it had during the new love phase; however, after a point, a relationship is beyond repair, and divorce becomes the best option a couple has.

How do we know when a marriage is to the point of divorce? I’ll give you 49 reasons:

Your marriage isn’t necessarily over just because you can check off one or two reasons. Finding yourself attracted to someone else, for instance, isn’t reason enough to end a marriage; though it’s a good indicator of the state of the marriage and your mental state. A couple of reasons might be enough for you, depending on the severity of the issues; but, only a couple might also leave plenty of room for working to salvage the relationship.

The answer to the question “is it over?” is completely subjective. Only you will know if you’ve met your breaking point and if the marriage is beyond the point of no return. This list should at least provide a good starting point for discussion and to evaluate the health of your marriage and whether or not it’s time to move on.

This post originally appeared on Divorced Moms, and has been republished with full permission.