By: Audrey Cade for Divorced Moms
One day you’re staying up all night laughing, talking about everything under the sun, and feeling like you couldn’t possibly be closer to another human being… then, in a blink of an eye, you’re like roommates barely exchanging words over the crunch of cereal at the breakfast table and at least mildly annoyed by nocturnal blanket-hogging and the way the other laughs.
How does a once close and loving relationship deteriorate into an arrangement of “putting up with each other” or, worse, a failed marriage? What goes wrong in a marriage to make it go from successful and happy to requiring life support?
6 reasons good marriages go bad:
1. Our priorities get out of whack. Most of us can manage to make our partner our primary focus when the relationship is still young or before major distractions from career, children, and others gradually divert our time and energy from our spouse. Many of us make parenting the number one object of our attention once kids enter the picture. While this may seem like what is in the best interest of the children, you may eventually find that your marriage needs to maintain top billing, even after kids. Some of us have a hard time believing or accepting this, but the fact is that children benefit from the strength of a loving, solid relationship.
Additionally, parents are able to continue to perform their best as a mum and dad when they are able to first nurture the marital bond. Do not deny the importance of continuing to date your spouse long after marriage! It is essential to make quality time for one another and to continue to feel connected in the middle of everything else life throws our way.
Khloe Kardashian famously divorced Lamar Odom following drug allegations.
2. We grow apart instead of together. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and it can be especially trying to stay on the same page and interested in the same things after many years pass. All of us develop new interests over a lifetime, and while it’s important to still have individual interests and time to ourselves to retain our personal identities, it is critical to the survival of a marriage for a couple to enjoy shared activities and one another’s company.
Maybe, as a couple, you and your spouse enjoyed more athletic or vigorous activities when you were younger or first got together, but now are no longer interested in those things. Instead of just giving up on the things you used to do and falling into a rut, it’s important to keep developing new things to do together. Similarly, as we mature, our views and preferences about everything can evolve. A happy couple doesn’t have to share all of the same beliefs or interests as long as they can happily coexist and maintain a strong sense of compatibility.