opinion

Rachael Finch told the world she's pregnant. The response has been nothing short of disgusting.

On Thursday afternoon, former Miss Universe Australia Rachael Finch shared something beautiful on her Instagram account.

She shared the grainy image of a tiny little blob most women (myself included) think about sharing one day when they decide to tell the world that they are pregnant.

“Cooking in the oven. Tears of joy as bubby no.2 is on the way.!!! 12 weeks along!! (pic from our 8 week scan). Excited to share this new adventure with you guys,” her caption read.

Rachael’s desire to have a second child and sibling for her daughter Violet has been no secret. There’s been no surprise that her and husband Michael Miziner have been trying to conceive for some time now.

In fact, she even made the decision to skip the opportunity to cover the Rio Olympics in fear of contracting the Zika Virus. She was due to attend the games with Channel Seven but decided to opt out at the last minute.

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At the time, she said, “I would have absolutely loved to go to Rio to be a part of the Olympic coverage with the Channel 7 team, but have decided not to go.”

“Misha and I are wanting to have more children and with the Zika virus an issue we don’t want to take the risk,” she added.

If you do the math, the model would already have been pregnant at the time of making this announcement. Rachael is currently 12 weeks along and shared the news about Rio six weeks ago.

Like any other woman carrying a child, she’s putting her pregnancy first, ahead of her job, ahead of financial prospects and ahead of the ability to make connections that would no doubt aid her in the future.

That’s what a lot of women do.

Rachael has also been very open her dream of having a big family. She recently told AAA, “I would love a big family, absolutely. It’s definitely on the cards. (But) we’re in no rush, we’re still quite young. We’re very blessed.”

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If you take a brief scroll of her Instagram announcement, it’s littered with congratulation after congratulation, as it should be. But when you take a wider look at social media, you see a different message entirely and to be frank, it’s disgusting.

Because according to some commenters, Rachael and Michael don’t deserve to have a second child based on their childcare arrangements.

In May of this year, Rachael told Sunday Style of the dream childcare arrangement she had set up with her husband’s mother Irena. She explained that from Friday until Sunday morning, her two-year-old Violet, stays with Irena.

“Every weekend (Violet) goes to Mish’s mum’s house, and we get our weekend to ourselves. I think that’s incredibly healthy for the relationship. And on Sunday, when we pick her up, we have 100 per cent energy back,” she said in an interview with Sunday Style magazine.

During the week, Violet stays at home with her father until Rachael’s mum, Colleen Zablocki, takes over in the afternoons when he starts teaching his dance classes.

Michael’s grandmother is also on hand if the couple need any further help. “She’s just turned 85, and she walks down to our house and takes Violet for a walk,” Rachael added.

In May of this year, Rachael told Sunday Style of the dream childcare arrangement she had set up with her husband's mother Irena. (Image: Instagram)

At the time, Rachael, who was just being honest about how she structures work and alone time with her husband around her career and childcare, probably didn't expect the reaction it received.

Almost immediately the onslaught was heavy and hard. So much so, Rachael was forced to fight back and defend her love of her daughter and the time that she does spend with her.

Many couldn't comprehend the fact she and Michael spend every weekend child-free to allow them to have some alone time together. She was labelled lazy ("Don't have kids if you aren't prepared to be a mother") and told she was only thinking about herself ("a mother who radiates selfish behaviour").

They are the sorts of accusation that would never be leveled at a man.

Even Rachael's basic capabilities as a mother were questioned, and her "maternal instincts" were doubted by mothers, fathers, talk show hosts and fans.

Using a photo of herself with Violet to get her message across, Rachael wrote on Instagram at the time, "A mother should never be made to feel they are not good enough for their child," she told her 157,000 strong following, adding that she is doing "everything (she) can to keep (her daughter) safe, happy and loved."

"Only the parents of a child truly know what is best and should always have faith in their decisions," she continued, "I value dearly the relationship Violet has with her Grandmother and I believe this is one of the most important and influential relationships growing up."

Violet with her grandmother. (Image: Instagram)

"I work hard so that I can provide the best future for the amazing soul we have created. I won't ever stop believing in her or the strength of the family unit," Rachael concluded.

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Now that she's pregnant with her second child, that old, ugly discussion has reared its ugly head again.

"Did Grandma agree to this, considering she will be the one raising the children?" asked a commenter on The Daily Mail. 

"The grandparents just called the builder in as they need to add a room to their Childcare centre," mocked another.

They continued:

"Parents in name only. TWO kids may put a strain on the marriage... then again probably not, as long as there's Granny to pick up the slack. Poor Granny spending her twilight years raising her grand kids for these narcissists."

"Pretty good Grandma, will she take my children too? Lol I need a break since I've never really had one!! Oh that's right probably because my husband and I don't want to miss out on our children growing."

I wish I could say the comments were isolated, but they weren't. Several of these sorts of comments were posted to Mamamia too. I've decided not to share them here but they make me incredibly sad.

At a time where Rachael and Michael should be absolutely brimming with happiness, they've been hit with the nasty hands of faceless people typing away at their keyboards.

"At a time where Rachael and Michael should be absolutely brimming with happiness, they've been hit with the nasty hands of faceless people." (Image: Instagram)

I can't condemn the pair for putting their relationship first. It's what makes them happy and what works for them. After all, happy parents means a happy child and they've clearly struck a balance with their own parents as to how this works for them.

I'm certain if grandmothers Irena and Colleen didn't want to look after Violet or any other grandchildren, they would simply say so. But that's not the case because at all because Irena has previously said, "The best present Rachael has given me is Violet. She has Rachael’s personality."

Details aside, of the things that make you unworthy of having a baby, this is not one of them. Wanting to maintain your relationship with your partner doesn't mean you do not deserve to be a parent.

There are, and will sadly continue to be, many parents who will do much worse to their children. Parents who kill their children while being high on drugs, parents who will cable tie their children to beds, parents who will do unspeakable, incomprehensible harm. These are the people who should never be lucky enough to hold the title of 'parent'. They are not real parents.

Rachael and Michael have found an arrangement that works for them and that should be celebrated. They're doing their best to raise their daughter Violet to become a happy and healthy young girl. In Rachael's own words, they want to give Violet a "safe, beautiful, nurturing, loving environment, so she has that foundation to forge ahead in life".

I have no doubt they will do the same with their second child.

This is a time for them to be celebrated, not ridiculed. This is a time for them to celebrate the miracle that is falling pregnant, a dream that Rachael and Michael have clearly held for a very long time.

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