The Queen's drinking schedule has been leaked. We're impressed she walks so straight.

On their own, Queen Elizabeth II’s career feats are pretty bloody impressive, not least because she is now 91 years old. But as it happens, she’s kind of sort of maybe been tipsy the whole time…

Revealed via a Food and Wine feature shared earlier this week, it turns out that Her Royal Highness knocks back a cool four cocktails each day; a ritual that starts in the morning and takes her through until the night.

According to the Queen's royal chef, Darren McGrady, the HBIC kicks off her day with a gin and Dubonnet (served with a slice of lemon and a “lot of ice”) before lunch.

It's simple, understated, classic, and also passes for water should anyone raise any suspicions.

At lunch, Lizzie then moves onto a more classic pairing of a glass of wine and a piece of chocolate to end her meal (a Bridget Jones-esque combination if ever we've heard one) before rounding things out with a dry gin martini.

So yeah, the British Monarch is sauced by the early afternoon every day without fail, but what of it? Do you really want to be the one staging that intervention? I think not...

Then, for reasons really not explained clearly, it's reported the Queen dedicates the afternoon to sobering up before closing the day with a good old glass of champagne before bed.

Honestly, we're impressed she manages to keep it together so well.