“I’m pregnant and my husband twice tried to stop me from eating lunch today.”

This mum-to-be could do with some advice.

I’m five and a half months pregnant and currently expecting my first child. I was overweight when I learned my husband and I were expecting a baby. I was worried how the excess weight could harm my baby. I even went as far as to print off a recommended weight gain chart and share with my husband.

We stuck it on the fridge and I’ve been trying my best not to overeat and to remain healthy, both for myself and the baby. But I’m definitely heavier than what I was before my husband and I got married and it has always been a point of contention for him.

I eventually stopped exercising for myself and more for him because he’d bring it up so often. Except now that I’m getting quite large I find exercise difficult and I know that it bothers him that I’m not as active as I was before the pregnancy.

He says it’s from a place of worry but the number of times he has tried to stop me from eating during my pregnancy is too damn high. Even during my OB visits he asks the questions regarding my weight gain.

"I eventually stopped exercising for myself and more for him because he’d bring it up so often."

My OB said I was fine and should not be cutting my calories. She said moving around and doing some light walking is a good solution to my exercise issue. I felt good after leaving the OB and trusted her recommendations.

But today my husband tried twice to stop me from eating at lunch. I finally said, “I don’t give a f*ck.” He has done no reading in his own time about pregnancy or learning about the baby. I just can’t handle it anymore.


I now think he just wants a skinny wife again and doesn’t give a sh*t how he goes about getting me to be one again. After the lunch incident I couldn’t stop crying. I feel like I have enough pressures and concerns in my life at the moment and judgement and criticism from my husband isn’t helping.

An obstetrician discusses what is healthy weight gain during pregnancy. Post continues after video...

He keeps apologising but ends his conversations with, “well you think I do everything wrong anyway. So that’s why I don’t say anything.”


He had no problem saying he did no research of his own but seems to think he knows my body better than what I do. Every time I try to resolve the issue we end up getting into another huge argument. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t feel comfortable eating in front of him because I know he is analysing every little thing on my plate and how much I have.

I’m sure his comments come from a place of concern and my hormones being all out of whack doesn’t help the situation. But I can stop feeling resentment when he tries to control what and how much I eat.

What would you do if you were in this situation?

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If, like this reader, you have a dilemma that you would like advice about, please email [email protected] with Don’t Judge Me in the subject field. You will be contacted before publication, and your identity will be protected.

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