By MIA FREEDMAN
The fact Kanye West just bought Kim Kardashian a big new piece of diamond jewellery is hardly newsworthy. But the reason he did it is an example of a growing phenomenon: push presents.
Did you get one? Would you want one? Do women DESERVE one?
And when did everything we do in life need to be commemorated with diamonds?
The rap star reportedly gave Kim, 32, the push present to mark the occasion of the birth of daughter North.
I have a question and it’s not about their baby’s name. In fact, Kim and Kanye can call their baby Kevin Rudd and encrust its nappies with diamonds if that is their wish. My business, it’s none of.
But can we take a moment to reflect on the plethora of new ‘traditions’ springing up like fungus whose main purpose seems to be ‘separating my loved ones from their cash and their time so they can focus on… me.’
Women are generally quite good at inventing these traditions. Having long excelled at making a party out of molehill, some women have a new item to add to their list of Things I Must Have and Ways People Must Celebrate Me.
Like Push Presents. These are pieces of expensive jewellery – diamonds usually – that men give to their partners for having a baby. And because diamonds don’t discriminate, you’re eligible even if, technically, you didn’t push. Caesareans also qualify. The point is you gave birth and that apparently requires something sparkly.
Because the healthy baby and mother aren’t enough. Mummy needs a bonus. With carats.
Then there are sex parties. Far less interesting than they sound, they’re thrown by expectant couples to announce the sex of their unborn child.
A hybrid of a baby shower and an awards ceremony, guests at a sex party are invited to witness the couple open a sealed envelope with the gender results of their 12 week ultrasound.
Alternatively, everyone watches as they cut a white-iced cake that’s either blue or pink inside.
Doesn’t that sound like something you’d like to do on your weekend? BYO gift.
Don’t fret that you won’t be able to choose a gender-appropriate present for the 12 week old foetus, there’s plenty of time to buy another one for the baby shower in five months! Still not sure you nailed it? There’s always the christening or naming ceremony and then the first birthday party. So many opportunities to spend money!
Perhaps when a couple announces they’re pregnant, we can just give them our credit card details and be done with it.
Is there nothing left in our culture that we can just get on with? Or celebrate more quietly and meaningfully? When did we start expecting to be showered with presents and attention at every stage of our lives?