It is really frustrating that comments by people with ADHD have been censored from being posted on this opinion piece. It feels like ableism to censor my voice here, but I am trying not to take it personally. Please take some time to consider that this opinion piece has been shared all over social media, and has insulted many of us who have ADHD, and struggle with the same struggles your son does, as children and as adults. We deal with enough rejection and misunderstanding from our peers and our families as it is, all our lives. If you think it is a lonely reality to have a child who has ADHD, let me just assure you, this does not compare to the lonely reality of HAVING ADHD in a society that rejects the way your brain developed. It frequently leads to the development of co-morbid mental illness, substance abuse, rejection sensitive dysphoria, social anxiety, and many maladaptive coping mechanisms. Please reconsider this opinion piece, and remember that his struggle is HIS struggle, and he needs support. Please reconsider centering your struggles over his here, on a public platform where he may read this some day, and think that he has been a burden. 

Just so we're clear, neurotypical ≠ better. Most of my absolute favorite people in the whole world also have ADHD, Autism, or both, and I love their direct, honest, innovative, interesting, intellectually curious, passionate, hilarious, and beautiful minds. I wouldn't trade my brain for anything, personally. But you know what else a lot of them have in common, as adults? Trauma, self confidence issues, social anxiety, fear of rejection by their peers because they are constantly worried about being "too much"...because many of them were raised to believe that they were "less than" and "not good enough." Describing your son as "a wonderful child who is trapped in an imbalanced ADHD brain" is harmful to the ADHD community. You simply cannot separate your child's ADHD from who he IS, because that is just how his brain developed. It's all or none, and none of us want to feel like an unwanted burden.

And please, for your own sake, look into how inattentive-type ADHD commonly manifests in women, how this can frequently go undiagnosed into adulthood for them, and how many develop OCD tendencies as coping mechanisms, in adulthood. ADHD is highly genetic. Please. As someone who grew up like your son, but would now describe herself as an "intelligent control freak," I can see and empathize with the rejection sensitive dysphoria you experience among your parental peers. Please. You may be struggling for more reasons than you think. Maybe pick up a copy of Sari Solden's book: "A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD." 

Pro tip: Your child needs to know WHY rules exist, and if the explanation doesn't make sense, he will push back. Arbitrary rules go in the trash bin. "Because I said so" is not going to fly, even though he is a minor. This is not something that will go away. Neurotypical people simply have many arbitrary rules that they expect everyone else to follow.