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d123 May 3, 2024

@anonymous True, I see your point. It shouldn’t have to be baby steps. But, the problem is how do we make major change fast when even those police, lawmakers and politicians who are in favour of change have to deal with bureaucracy that doesn’t allow them to make fast, radical change. If you can come up with a strategy to get things done faster then that would be good. It’s just unfortunately difficult to do.

d123 May 3, 2024

@anonymous are you seriously saying that there are no good men in the world? I hope I’m misunderstanding your meaning, because if you don’t think there are any good men anywhere then I’m quite stunned.

d123 May 3, 2024

@suz yes, the court system seems crazy. Men get light sentences for killing someone then after they are released they immediately kill someone else. I think the general public is in favour of harsher sentences for these type of crimes, so why isn’t it happening? I wonder if it’s simply that there are not enough prisons?

d123 April 29, 2024

@anonymous while I understand the sentiment and agree with some of what you are saying, but, I think we shouldn’t make sweeping statements about men in general. Let’s not tar the kind and good men by the same brush as those that are violent.

Indeed, the fact that the law does not deal effectively with violent men is also detrimental to the good men who are unfairly are lumped into this classification.

For instance, women have to be cautious of every strange man they see at night, because, a woman has no way of knowing if they are harmless, because, the violent men are not dealt with effectively.

This is just the state of things, but, I’m sure the non-violent men of the world would like the law to deal effectively with abusers so they don’t have to deal with the fallout to their female loved ones, as well as the unfair suspicion cast in their direction.

d123 April 29, 2024

One thing I notice about this outrage activism, which is often driven by young people, is how ineffective it usually is.

If a politician turned up then most likely he too wants to solve the problem, whether he’s being truly altruistic or it’s just a vote grabber is not the point. It’s clear that such a politician wants to be seen to solve the issue also. So, what’s stopping him? This is what these kids need to consider, put, yourselves in the politicians shoes and realise the issue is bigger than Ben Hur. Every point you make about women being abused may be valid, but, the politicians may not know how to fix it either, but, of course they can’t admit that. And, if you come up with sky high outrageous demands they won’t be able to get them passed in parliament.

So, come up with some practical solutions that you can propose to the government. Keep in mind it might be baby steps, because, big changes are harder to pass. But, if you can come up with a solution that is workable for the politician then they are likely to run with it, because, of course they want to be seen as the politician that fixes the problem. And, then they will come back to you for more ideas.

d123 March 26, 2024

I’ve got to say I think it’s sad that women have to make money this way and additionally men have to get their sexual needs met this way.

However, unless someone is doing something actively denigrating their employment, such as bad mouthing their company, or they have a side job working for a competitor, then I don’t think anyone should be able to be sacked for sex work. In particular, if it’s not illegal (I’m not sure the legality of sex work though, but I’m assuming Only Fans is legal) then they shouldn’t be able to be sacked.

Back in the 1950s women were sacked for having babies out of wedlock. Nowadays, nearly every second woman is a single mother and I don’t see any of them getting sacked for their so-called immoral behaviour (and neither should they be).

I’ve also heard of teachers being sacked because it turned out they were part time strippers or similar, to me this is the ultimate hypocrisy given that children are the literal products of their parents sex life. I mean if two people weren’t randy kids wouldn’t exist in the first place, and therefore neither would schools.

Indeed, probably half the people agreeing this woman should get the sack have had multiple partners themselves, or at the very least are likely to have had sex outside of marriage. I also know of many people who have church weddings, but, horror of horror they aren’t virgins. So, bunch of hypocrites.

As long as the sex workers keep that part of their life separate from their day job then no one should be able to get sacked for something that as far as I know is legal.

Also, on the note of side hustles unless it is in direct competition then it no one’s business if Mandy is selling Tupperware or works a second shift at the local cafe. Indeed, if their main job paid enough people wouldn’t need a second job. So, it should be illegal to even ask let alone fire someone for having a “side hustle.”

d123 March 23, 2024

Ghosting always happened, just the name is new, makes me laugh that younguns think they invented it. There was probably some young lady in 1890 crying to her mother about why doesn’t Cedric doesn’t turn up to croquet anymore.

Yes, and it’s madness to think that being rejected to your face is somehow preferable to the person vanishing from your life…after all if it’s the latter you can remain hopeful that the dating hopeful you fell in lust with actually doesn’t find you repulsive but just met with a serial killer.

Seriously, the one time I didn’t lie to a guy that I could no longer date him as my ex-husband had returned or I was moving to Africa, the one time I actually told the truth that I wasn’t attracted to him, well I felt like I had killed a puppy. And, I probably only performed this act of sadism because I had been egged on by some well-meaning dating expert spouting that thou shalt not ghost dates, because people prefer the truth (wt.! Since when!?)

And, you know speaking of dating experts, they all talk about dating being a growth experience blah, blah, blah. You know what, dating sucks, either you’re interested but he’s not, he’s interested but you’re not, you’re mutually repulsed by each other, or - worst of all - you’re mutually attracted so you get hitched and learn to hate each other while living in marital captivity together.

Seriously, if you want to find the love of your life approach it with the attitude that it most likely is going to be years out of your life of sheer hell, but, if you are willing to be resilient and put up with the weirdos, the heartbreak (both your heart breaking and the people you reject) that most likely you will eventually meet your person. So, be resilient but don’t feel like a weak person because every now and then you need a good cry about it. Accept that you have emotions, and that’s a good thing, because when you eventually find the one he’s not going to want a girl with a heart of stone. And, accept that it’s meant to be hard, because if it was easy we could all be with just anyone. Just keep at it and some day some nice guy will find you perfect for him.

Btw, speaking of rejection I’ve stopped reading articles at Mammamia because I kept getting my comments rejected even though I don’t think I’m saying anything offensive. But, I decided to try one last comment here because you are my favourite here, beautiful, sweet natured personality that shows in both your face and the way you write.

d123 March 9, 2024

Um, I feel like too much is being read into this. He seems to be sharing his enjoyment of the simple things in life, such as nature, which I find refreshing.

On the other hand, maybe he realised he needs to promote himself but wants to do so in a way that is both wholesome but also doesn’t give much information away to protect his privacy. Or,maybe, it’s his assistant posting the captions.

Whatever the reason I find it preferable to the either over sexualised or fake OTT stuff that a many female celebs post.

In fact, I have zero desire to follow any celeb on instagram but I would be slightly tempted to follow him now that I’ve seen the kind of stuff he posts because it’s quite uplifting without being corny.

Apart from all of this maybe he’s not single anymore…how are we to know?

d123 March 8, 2024

I assume that one day the fashion industry will demand that if women want to be truly feminine they need to chop a foot off. They won’t demand it of men, because men aren’t that stupid to go along with such idiocy. But, naturally women will fall into line - or just fall, now that they are all missing a foot.

The footless fashion (not footloose) will spark articles about how sexism and the patriarchy are to blame for women feeling compelled to remove a foot to conform to men’s ideas of acceptable femininity. Simultaneously, other articles will preach that it’s a woman’s choice to remove a foot and should be respected as such, i.e - you do you.

Others will debate what is the appropriate foot to chop off to be truly feminine, while some will argue that you can’t be truly feminine unless you chop off both feet.

Surgeons and beauticians will make a lot of money offering amputations. Eventually most women, except a few unfashionable hold outs, will have at least one foot removed .

Then soon enough it will be all over because some daring fashionista in charge of Vogue or similar designer bible, will decide its time to try something edgy - and, bring back feet.

Then the same women will be lining up again (obviously assisted by crutches) to get a foot regeneration with whatever the latest technology is.

Just as these new feet finally grow back and become functional some other diva will announce that feet are passé again and the whole cycle of amputations will start anew

d123 March 8, 2024

@snorks haha, actually I’m sure cats think of their owners (or is subordinates a better description?), but, probably they are thinking, hey, I’ve found myself a sucker to look after me!

d123 March 6, 2024

Irony is so many people worry about their partner getting it on with an ex, when, in fact sometimes familiarity breeds contempt. For instance, a new person is an unknown, a mystery. But, with an ex, even if they are good-looking,maybe you know they are average in bed, and you know all their bad habits etc.

Sure, if they were the one “that got away”, or your partner clearly holds a candle for them, then that’s a worry. But, sometimes a partner is safer being alone with an ex than a newbie. Because, with an ex they’ve been there done that.

At the end of the day if he wants to sleep with this woman he will. He lives by himself so he could be having a harem there for all we know. Heck, he could be bisexual and getting it on with his best mate too.

Not diminishing your feelings on this just pointing out that forbidding him probably isn’t going to stop him if he clearly has a penchant for other women.

You have to go with your gut feeling as to whether he still holds a flame for her or not, or whether he truly loves and only wants you.

d123 March 6, 2024

Basically, McCaughney comes across as some eccentric, but harmless, egotist. It’s hard to take offence at anything he ever says because half of what he says makes him sound like an enlightened genius, but the other half is usually an incomprehensible ramble. But, it’s all delivered with that Southern charm.

Maybe, there is some sexist double standards with the speeches but I’m not sure if it’s just different personalities and sadly some come across as a bit insufferable. For instance, if Jennifer Coolidge gave a “cringy” self-congratulatory speech it would probably be labelled comic genius, whereas Anne Hathaway always gives off some try-hard quality that can make her seem a bit fake. Feel bad saying this because maybe she is a lovely person for all I know. Not denying the woman has talent and I thought she was great in The Devil Wears Prada.

I absolutely adore Sally Field, one of my favourite actresses, but, even I cringed a bit at that line. She didn’t come across badly but a bit insecure or something.

I guess all these people are highly nervous and like all of us at times say something cringy or tell a bad joke or whatever.

Problem is we all critique them, myself included. And, what one person might find cringy or inappropriate another might find inspiring or funny.

If they say something political or about some cause usually they get canned for doing that. Yet, here you are critiquing them for not doing that. Maybe, some of them feel that the work itself is enough to make a point about AIDS, or poverty etc.

If there is any sexist double standard I’m not sure scrutinising the men as much as the women is the solution.

Maybe, we can all just accept that we have different reactions to these speeches because some actors/actresses are our “cup of tea” and others are not. And, maybe we can have a roll of our eyes if someone says something that we feel is a bit cringy but not make it a hanging offence.

At the end of the day we all have different reactions. Like your article here, some will be a bit critical of it, as I have. Others will think it’s the best thing they ever read. Horses for courses.

d123 March 6, 2024

@snorks Actually, what you said brilliantly summed up McCaughney’s point better than he did. Haha, I love the line about the dog. I hope one day you win an award so you can get to say it.

d123 March 3, 2024

Wow, this is wild. Brave of you to show us alcoholism warts and all. I feel like no one would be tempted to binge drink after reading this.

I could be wrong but I’m getting a vibe off you, like you are actually a wild one and not built for domestic life. Like you should be a lion tamer in Nairobi or a bungee jumper in Venezuela (lol, I have no idea if either occupation exists there).

Might be completely misjudging you, but you look like someone who needs some adrenaline pumping dangerous pursuit going on with their life to avoid pure boredom. I say this as someone who is not attracted to anything remotely dangerous, but, that’s the vibe I’m getting from you. And, I don’t mean it in a bad way, as we are all built differently and we need the adventurers in this world while the rest of us sit on the couch reading.

Yet, here you are tied down with kids. No doubt, you love them but I get the feeling you are bored, bored, bored.

The nearest equivalent to you i could imagine is maybe Pink, she has that wild look too, so, maybe even a roadie with a band. Something that gets you travelling and doing something exciting that’s not so mundane. Assuming you can afford this, do van life or something. Not sure how you can combine that with kids and a hubby. But, if the kids inherited your DNA maybe they would enjoy the adventure too. Then again maybe they would resent you for it. Or, maybe if you can just find a job at home that somehow gives you an adrenaline burst. Something weird and freaky that none of us “normie’s” would do. If you can’t do this now, because of the kids, then plan for it for when they are older.

Apologies if I’m completely wrong. Because, I do realise this would be bad advice for 99% of people, but, there is something about your face that’s giving me the vibe that you were meant for some crazy adventures. If this doesn’t align with your personality at all then please ignore! Either way good luck!

d123 March 2, 2024

I watched one episode of One Day and while I agree the guy was gorgeous, this show was slightly addictive and there were some good lines, the thing that has discouraged me from watching the next episode is that the female lead’s character is just a truly horrible person.

From the get-go she belittles him and rails against him, constantly lecturing him about his white privilege, while the guy himself is unfailingly nice to her. I do realise her character is supposed to be young and a bit awkward and obnoxious but unless she matures into a nicer person as she grows older in future episodes then I might be tempted to throw a shoe at the TV screen.

It’s a pity as there is some good writing and he is lovely, plus her best friend is a great, fun, supporting character (I mention this because the friend is also a woman of colour, but, they’ve written the friend’s character as a kind, endearingly funny friend). But, the actual female romantic lead is a very unlikeable person in this first episode. The result is that her unlikeable personality makes her physically repulsive to me, so, I can’t understand his attraction to her. She’s going to have to have a major mature growth arc in the future episodes which span future decades for me to warm to her.

d123 February 28, 2024

I understand the reasons for the transparent bag but so much for privacy if you don’t want the world to know what medication you are on, or your brand of tampon.

Re parking, If there were better parking options I’m sure more aussies (if not most) would drive rather than having to catch 3 infrequent trains (or two buses and a train due to trackworks), followed by a midnight walk down dark streets to home due to the fact that many of those who choose to (or are forced to) travel by train can’t get a bus to the nearest station and usually there is next to no parking at stations for those who would happily park at the station given the choice.

But, sure, public transport is the sustainable option, bad luck if you are female, disabled, a parent with infants in a pram, those carrying heavy gear, those too old and frail or just feeling a bit unwell (e.g. period or bad back or dodgy knee is playing up) to walk to the station or bus stop. And, even if they can manage all that there are still those who don’t want to be jam packed into a full carriage with no seat and then liable to catch the latest plague going around (admittedly they probably aren’t the people who will be going to a concert, but, this problem certainly applies to those who are forced to leave the house for work or other reasons)

So, basically there is a minority of people who public transport is really good for. At the very least there should be multi level all day cheap parking (dare I say free? If the government want us to save the planet and catch a train they can subsidise the carparks at the train stations) at every single train station so that people can at least drive to their nearest station. For instance I can’t catch a train from the nearest stations to me because there is no bus there and only limited parking. So, that means I’m more likely to actually drive all the way to my destination than catch a train as it’s not feasible for me to catch a train.

Better still governments should make businesses demonstrate why they need office workers to be in the office, so we can really be sustainable and more of us can work from home. (Obviously, this article was about concert travel but I’m addressing sustainably in general. I also realise that some jobs do require staff onsite, some or all of the time).

d123 February 27, 2024

I’m not a royalist though I certainly don’t begrudge a man staying home with his sick wife and kids, but, if it’s just the case of looking after the kids wouldn’t the royals have lots of nannies etc to do this?

Also, while I feel sorry for them all as humans given the Royal Family’s last few years has been filled with turmoil, tragedies and now sicknesses, I can’t figure out what is so important that they do that requires them to be working.

Sure, I know there is a lot of charity and event type openings they do but really any pretty face off the street could do that.

So, considering their role is not supposed to be political and is now merely ceremonial what do they actually do that is of state importance?

The only thing I can think of is there is a lot of rubber stamping and signing of documents that need royal assent, but, I don’t imagine they would be required to examine any of these documents.

Therefore, let’s say they all had to take a year off would it mean that there just wouldn’t be any tiara/crown clad person to open the latest hospital wing or smile at sick children? Lol, though they don’t even wear tiaras/crowns that often these days, so, if they don’t even look like royals why not just get some philanthropist or politician or model or even JoBlow from down the street to cut the ribbon.

d123 February 24, 2024

“But while dogs get a 57.2 percent oxytocin boost when they interact with their owners, cats only get a 12 percent boost.” Haha, this made me laugh out loud. That’s because people own dogs, but cats own people.

However, cats s**t in a box, or if outdoors have the decency to do it out of the way and cover it up, making them easier to clean up after then dogs who seem to think the whole world is their bathroom.

Having said that many a time a dog has protected their human, while on the rare instances when a cat has saved a human’s life it’s probably been by accident, lol.

I think maybe we need science to find a way to breed them together, so, we can get the best of such a combo. Hopefully, though, we won’t end up with a Rottweiler who can scale fences.

d123 February 21, 2024

Are your kids adults or still at home? Obviously, if they are small it could be an upheaval for them to get used to split custody, access, move or downgrade houses/schools etc .Then again could be negative or positive upheaval, as they may feel happier with less tension. So, it could really go either way for the kids.

On the other hand if they are adults I detest this idea that unhappy parents should stay together for the sake of their kids. That is up there with saying that your kids, if married, should stay with their spouse just because you like their spouse. It shouldn’t matter one iota to a grown child whether their parents are fucking each other or someone else. That’s between the couple. It’s selfish of adult children to stand in the way of their parents’ happiness just because they can’t handle the thought that their unhappy parents find love elsewhere.

As far as you staying with your spouse. If you stay you get security, probably financial security, and possibly someone to look after you in sickness and trouble, old age etc (though that’s not guaranteed). Depending on your finances if you leave you might have to downgrade and may struggle financially, unless your partner was a spend thrift, then you might actually do better. You may also deal with loneliness as it could take years to find another suitable partner, assuming you want one.

But, that is the negative, if you leave you might find downgrading your accommodation and the loneliness you may encounter worth it for being able to pursue the people and hobbies etc that you want to do. You could travel by yourself and meet lots of people. There is a great app called Meetup that is primarily a friendship and activities app that will help you make lots of new friends and even potentially a new partner (though, it’s not a dating app).

So, splitting won’t be easy at first but it may well be worth it. Problem is with everything in life it is a gamble and you never know till you take the plunge which way it will go.

If you have time, instead of splitting right now, maybe, you can explore Meetup now and go along to some activities and find some new friends, learn some new hobbies or take up an old hobby or interest that you gave up. Exploring new pastures might give you an idea whether you really need major change or you just need some more interests. And, if you do decide to split it means you have already got some outside friends and interests to fall back on.

d123 February 21, 2024

Look free-to-air TV has become the equivalent “entertainment” that going to a public hanging was a few centuries back.

The problem TV has is that so much of it is rubbish that no one wants to watch them, so, all they can do is court controversy to get an audience.

It started off with reality TV and them having a few slightly naughty people on. But, each year they have to up the anti. In twenty years (if they are still around) it will probably be the equivalent of an Ivan Milat waltzing on the dance floor.

To be fair it’s hard for them to compete against the streaming services and even YouTube. The thing about these services, particularly YouTube, is they can cater for niche markets. For instance, if you are a history buff sure you could watch TV for a history show, but, on YouTube you can find the exact type/era of history that you are interested in. Same goes with other subjects.

Sure, with YouTube you have to wade through some fake news and conspiracy nuts to find quality stuff. But, the irony is even the interviews from the YouTuber’s streaming from their spare room are often better than what TV dishes up, whether the subject is lifestyle, hobbies, history or more controversial stuff like politics.

Because, these YouTubers deliver what TV gave up on years ago, listening to their interviewees without the constant interrupting or manic editing styles. Furthermore, there is a lot of long form interviews. As much as the algorithm can be a bit creepy and can put you in an echo chamber, at least once it figures out what you like you can consistently get the type of stuff you want to watch.

I can think of hundreds of YouTubers I’ve watched (some one-off, some regularly) who were much better interviewers than many alleged journalists on TV. Then again that’s not always the journalist’s fault, I’m sure they are pressured into this manic interrupting style as the station owners assume all watching have ADHD and can’t hack more than a few seconds of an answer. And, even with the problems of YouTube et al serving up fake news, TV itself has always had its own bias. I’ve seen dubious things shown on TV, to fit either a left or right wing narrative, that YouTubers have debunked. Let alone the fact that YouTubers have often shed light on topics that were problematic but not mainstream enough for TV to cover.

As a result of this I almost exclusively watch streaming, plus YouTube and other similar online video services now. It’s a pity because occasionally something good is on TV, but, because I rarely switch it on I therefore don’t see the promos and as a result miss the occasional quality offering that they may have.

In fact I watch much more YouTube than streaming services because at least I can get all my docos and interviews in one place. What YouTube isn’t great at is finding dramas to watch. I would gladly pay for one streaming service that delivers it all (a bit like Netflix was back in the day), but, I’m not prepared to spend hundreds per month for multiple streaming services just to watch a few shows from each. The streaming services are losing money for that reason and really need to think of an innovative way to package everything together, while keeping their independence. Maybe, different tiers of membership to get multiple streamers.

Same with newspapers/magazines. Would happily pay for an online subscription if I received multiple titles - from both left and right wing media, e.g. Guardian to The Australian, so I could get a broad perspective. But, no chance in hell such media would align.