I am a female, i went to co-ed school and I didn't even know there was such thing as "boy / girl classes" until I started listening to mamamia. I did maths, i was good at maths, i got the highest score in my class. I think I honestly would have struggled in an all girls school. I think it depends on the child.
This article is literally a participation award for all the people that complain "what about me / x"
I kind of had the opposite happen. I hadnt seen my friend much because she had a baby. I wasn't worried and didnt concern me. I felt confident when times right it link back up. Id check in, offer to catch up random time, if it worked great if not, next time. She offer random times but didn't work with my work hours (too early) and her baby schedule (too late) or me just already having plans.. Then she cracked it at me
@cat
Thin’ people - including ‘reformed’ fat people - have no place advising anyone on how to deal with their myriad physical and psychological complexities unless they ask for it.
@mamamia-user-482898552 i agree that being able to use the internet is a privilege. Its a privilege that everyone here reading this has. If i was having this discussion with a homeless then i would understand your point. A person talking about their travels with another traveller (or person who asked) is different. I dont sit down with a homeless person and say how amazing the Internet is or food at X restaurant is or how nice and warm it is to live in a house....
@cat people rarely say to me "when i was in my 20's i purchased a house" or "i make X a year". Is that something people in your circles say? (not being sarcastic, honest question). I do come across people who say "when I was in my 20's i travelled/lived overseas for X years". A career, a house, travel and much more are all privileges... I agree. My opinion would be the same if people always mentioned how they got a house in their 20s - i just dont come across this scenario like i do re travelling.
@mustlovebooks i know, its not that ill turn into the above its that it seems enviable that by becoming a mother I will be thrown into the motherhood environment and surrounded by the aforementioned. As someone who has never really fitted in with societies stereotypical female.. Its exhausting being your own person. Why would i want have a baby to do it my own way and further isolate myself and potentially being a "bad" mother to my list if identities (i dont think the mother id hope to be is a bad mother, but i know its different to society's views).
I always wanted to have kids. Its all i wanted. I was not in a space to have kids when people around me were. As i reach my 30's, ive spent almost a decade surrounded by kids. I love the kids but i hate todays motherhood. The baby spam, the "as a mother", the toxic mother groups, the "think know better attitude", not being able to talk or relate to anything but kids. Attitude that they have it harder because they have 3 kid while x has 1, or none etc. Apparently you feel more as mother yet they can't seem to have sympathy for non-mother. i hate all thst crap and that mothers have ruined this for me. And now at a cross roads, what do i do?
When i was younger (school age and early 20) all i wanted was to become a mother. It was my goal in life. Fast forward to my 30s. I have a fiancé, career and a house. I am surrounded by other peoples kids. Now is my time to have kids or not abd honestly, society makes me not want it. The toxic mother environment, the "as a mother" comments, loosing your identity, the mother guilt & baby spam. I hate it & hate that its wrecked it for me.. And so what do i do now?
@mamamia-user-284833945 this is a very valid point. Im good with my money and i was very hopeful when i started reading but there isnt much more i can cut out and even if i did... Even before tax income isnt enough. The article is good and helpful but the figure value can be misleading problematic
Yess. This is me. It upsets me how much I have been put off having kids.
I find people who travel overseas for X amount of time continually talk about how life changing and amazing it is but never how privileged they are to actually get the opportunity. A lot of people would jump at the opportunity if it was possible.
"I mean, I have two young kids, so time is pretty precious
I never use to win my races. People laughed at how I would run and I became the girl who just refused to do sports.. I still get insecure about it but guess what, 10 yrs later after finishing high school.. I LOVE run. I compete in half marathons and always encouraging people to join in. Am I fast? No. Do half the people I convince to join, beat me on their first run 😫 yes but everyone runs their own race. I wish my parents encouraged me more when I was in school.
@cat you comment mentions you gave a group of girls who reliable catch up 3-4 times a Yr and are events/ milestones.
Yep same. I long for it but never seem to fit in. Never have a clue of the group topics, latest Goss etc. It's shitty but I value my one-on-one's. You're not alone.
Thank you sharing. I while back I went to a therapist for depression/anxiety but it wasn't working. I then read about ocd and it really related. I have not listened to the "no filter" ep as I was a bit scared of the truth. I will find a mentally free moment listen. I'm hoping it will give me non medicated tips!
I find some of these very interesting. Honestly I wouldn't count myself a bully (- though I know another person's input would be more creditable) and I related to some of the points raised. I personally have been a victim of bullying and this post angers me. I get told I am blunt and honestly I can admit that I can be but it's something I value in a friendship. I need my friends to be honest, don't beat around the bush. That said, I generally only share my opinion if asked and then I'd be honest. Secondly girls typically and as a generalisation are b*tchy - not all girls (the comment is very narrow minded) but there are girls that are b*tchy.